Three Books, One Story
by wishyfishy
Summary: A few years after the Amber Spyglass, Will suddenly stumbles upon a trio of new books dubbed His Dark Materials. Emotional chaos ensues that includes Mary Malone, and his current girlfriend, Lena. But one question stands: How did Philip Pullman know?
1. Chapter 1

***I do not own His Dark Materials. Will is not my own creation. Darn! But Lena is though....***

Thought circled Will's head as he drove to Lena's house, thoughts about Lyra. He knew that he shouldn't be thinking about her. It would only cause him pain, that's what Mary Malone kept telling him. Mary was telling the truth of course, but it didn't stop Will from thinking about Lyra.

"Stop Will," said his daemon, Kirjava, who was laying in the passenger seat.

Will sighed; she was right. So he pushed Lyra out of his head as he pulled up to Lena's house. He had met Lena almost a year ago at a bookstore. She had "accidently" bumped into him while he was looking for a book for a class. She was nice and pretty so he had asked her out for tea and coffee. That of course had ended up in a relationship lasting almost a year.

The reason Will was at Lena's house now was because she hadn't spoken to him in a few days, wouldn't answer a call or anything. Everything had been fine and happy, so Will wondered why she was doing this. So now he was here to try and find the answer.

He got of the car, Kirjava right behind him (she had insisted on coming) and walked up to Lena's door. Her house was a small one, but cute and fitting for the woman that lived here. It was a cheery cream color with a bright red door, and green grass and flowers planted in front. Her house always reminded Will of a home in a story book or a fairy tale. It was just so quaint and joyful.

As Will knocked on the door, Kirjava rubbed against his legs, trying to cool his nerves. They could hear the squeak of a moving chair, the shuffling of feet and a loud groan before the door finally swung open. Standing in front of him was Lena. She was a skinny woman with brown hair and dark brown eyes. Right now that hair was in a disheveled heap and those eyes were laden with big purple bags and bloodshot with the effort of carrying them. She was wearing her PJ's and bunny slippers.

"Oh Will. Uh…hi. Sorry, I know I don't look very…good. Anyway, come in," said Lena holding out the door.

"Thanks. Lena…" responded Will walking in, Kirjava trialing close behind. Will didn't finish, because he was in shock of the state of the interior of his girlfriend's house.

It was usually neat and clean; everything had a place and everything was in that place. But now in was in a state of chaos. There were dirty dishes in the sink, empty boxes and wrappers thrown about the room. Plants were wilting in the corner, as the rug and furniture were sitting at awkward angles. The curtains were closed and the only light was coming from a floor lamp next to a reading chair in the center of the room.

Will looked back at Lena; she was fidgety and shifting from foot to foot. A wave of worry washed over him. This was not the Lena he had known, something was wrong.

"Lena are you okay?" Will asked.

"Yes…well…really no…" she answered.

"What happened?"

"Well…I kind of found a new series and…"

Lena was an avid book reader. She used almost all her extra money to buy books, she visited the library almost every day, and belonged to several reading groups online and off. She would sometimes get really involved in a book or a series and miss one or two calls or dates or something of that nature. But she never got this involved. She had practically devoted her life to this series, whatever it was. That's why she was so disheveled. But what book would make her do that?

"Go on…" Will encouraged.

"You're going to think I'm silly."

"No I won't."

"Okay I'll tell you."

She took a deep breath, trying to calm down and started.

"I was on one of my reading groups online and I came across this new series. All three books had just been published just last month. Anyway, they looked interesting so I went out to the bookstore and bought them. Once I got home, I started to read...and after that I kind of got deep into it. I lost myself for a few days. I just couldn't put the books down! They were so good! So you know me, I locked myself up in my house and just read and read. That's why I haven't been talking to you or returning your calls. I'm sorry, Will."

She was looking down at her feet and fiddling with her fingers, waiting for a reply.

"Its okay, Lena. But what I want to know is what series? How can those books be so good that they made you do this?"

"Uh…" said Lena walking over to the reading chair and picking up a book that laid hidden in its lap. "The first book's called _The Golden Compass_. I had just finished the last one, but if you want to look at the first one, here it is."

Will took the book that Lena was now handing him. It was a fairy heavy book, leaden with the story it held inside. On the cover showed a girl with blonde hair and blue eyes, on top of a large polar bear with a mouse next to her. Will met the eyes of his daemon (now by the window) as a ping of memory popped into their heads. He looked back at the book, turning it over to read the back.

_Lyra Belacqua...Jordan College…her daemon…Lord Asriel…Gobblers…_

Will's eyes grew wide and his skin pale, as his heart started to beat fast in his chest. He staggered back to couch and sat down.

"Will are you okay?" asked Lena.

Will was speechless. It didn't make sense, but everything was right. The summary sounded exactly like what Lyra had told him. It was all just too much. Kirjava was now up on his lap, purring nervously.

"Will?"

Ignoring Lena, Will got up and walked over to the reading chair, to look at the other books in the series. Maybe it was just a coincidence; the other books couldn't be like the true story too. Could they? With his hands shaking he picked up the second book of the series. It was titled _The Subtle Knife_, with a cover showing the same blonde haired girl with her hand on a leopard and next to her was a boy carrying a tabby cat. Kirjava meowed a low and loud one with ears back, the memories that Will was thinking were too painful. Will hurriedly turned to the back and read the summary.

_Lyra…Cittagazze…Specters…Will Parry…_

Will dropped the book and Kirjava hissed at it like it was cursed. He sank to his knees. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't be true. But it was, and the proof was right in front of him. In the corner of his eyes he could see Kirjava batting at something behind the chair. He felt a wave of angry and sad feelings come from her. So he crawled over to see what made her feel like that. It was the third book in the series, The Amber Spy Glass. The over was gold except a circle in the middle, which showed the girl and boy surrounded by gray figures, which Will knew were the dead. In the air was two big dragonflies and riding them was a small woman and man, Lady Salmakia and Chevalier Tialys.

His heart beat was off the carts now and he was as pale as paper. I reached out to the book, afraid of the story that it held. But before he could get his hands on it, Lena called out.

"Will!"

He looked up at her; her eyes were shinning with worry. He had once looked at her daemon with Mary's technique. It was a little sparrow, small, neat, careful and caring. She came and sat down beside him and put an arm around his shoulder.

"Will, are you okay?" she asked.

Will stared into her chocolate brown eyes. There was something in those eyes that had made him stay with her for almost a year, but now he couldn't figure out what. His mind was too clouded with thoughts of Lyra.

"Uh…yah…" whispered Will, even though he was shaking his head no.

"Will Malone, you know that the real answer is no. Tell me. What's wrong?"

_Malone…_ Now that was a last name that he had heard quite often now. His last name was now Malone after Mary had adopted him. Once Will got back, he and Mary had sorted everything out with the help of wonderful lawyer and luck. But soon after that, Will's mom had died of a "strange illness". So Mary had adopted him and raised and housed him until he went off to college, which was where he was now. He had barely talked to Mary since.

Tell her, that's what Lena wanted him to do. He couldn't do that, not the truth. She would never believe him. He broke away from her and got up.

"I…uh…h-have to go…" stuttered Will as he and Kirjava walked towards the door.

With hands still shaking and now wet with nervous sweat, he turned the doorknob and strolled out, leaving Lena on the floor with confusion, worry and shock written on her face.

Will shoved the keys into the car door, yanked it open and sat down. He had to get out of this place, he knew that Lena would only follow him and ask more questions. Putting the car in reverse, he backed out of the driveway and drove away. It wasn't long before he couldn't drive because of his shaking hands. He was weaving like crazy as Kirjava tried to soothe him to no avail. He should pull off the road, a cop would otherwise think he was drunk. Spotting a fast-food restaurant coming up on his left, he turned and parked, heart still beating like crazy and hand unable to stay still.

"Calm down, Will. It's not good for you to be this upset," stated his daemon, climbing up onto his lap, and licking his healed left hand.

Taking a deep breath, he laid his right hand on her head.

"Your right Kirjava. I do need to calm down, but it was just so…weird," said Will, trying to put his thoughts into words, but he didn't have too, Kirjava felt it too.

There was something very strange about those books, something that couldn't possibly true. His past couldn't be in the bellies of newly published books. It just wasn't possible. But yet it was; he had seen the books with his own eyes.

"Maybe it's not exactly like our story," said Kirjava looking up at him with pleading eyes.

She was trying to search for some loophole, something that was different and false. Her, like him, didn't want this to be true. A novel couldn't feasibly contain all their adventures with Lrya… Oh, what would she do now? She would probably march right up to the author and find out how he knew all this stuff. But like Kirjava said, the story might not be exactly correct. And there was only one way to find out for sure. Taking his hand off his daemon, he started the car again and drove out of the parking lot, with a mission in mind.


	2. Chapter 2

He reached home in the late evening. It was afternoon when he had set off to Lena's house and Will hadn't stopped to get something to eat. But he wasn't hungry; he had some reading to do. The whole car ride home was very distressing. What sat in the shopping bag, only right next to him, hurt his mind more than anything that had happened since he came back to this world. It was so hard just to drive, his mind would always wonder over to the bag in the passenger seat. But Kirjava made sure he wouldn't crash, though he felt that sometimes her focused drift to the bag too. It was a miracle that they even made it home alive, but they did and now that they were not on the roads anymore, they could give the contents of the bag their full attention.

Will threw his keys down on the counter, and walked to the living room shopping bag in hand and Kirjava right behind. He lived in a small flat near the college. It had a small kitchen, miniature bathroom, undersized bedroom and a medium-sized living room. The walls were white and the carpets were beige. It was a fairly boring space, but Will was comfortable here and it felt like the closest thing to a real home ever since his mom died. Right now he was headed for a comfy recliner in the middle of the living room. It was the only other chair besides a couple of barstools that were in the flat. There was an old floor lamp located near the recliner that lit up the whole room with a soft glow.

Will turned on the lamp and sat down in the chair. Kirjava climbed up the back of the recliner and watched over his shoulder as he took out what he bought from the shopping bag. It was the three books, the three books that he had seen only a few hours ago in Lena's house. Will let out a shaky breath and opened _The Golden Compass_.

_Lyra and her daemon moved through the darkening hall… _

In the past few hours, as the moon rose higher in the sky and the stars glitter in the dark, Will learned more about Lyra's story then he had learned from Lyra herself. There was some things that he doubted even she would have remembered. Things like her feelings about Scholars and the Master of Jordan and Pantalaimon's exact reaction and words to what Lord Asriel said in the Retiring Room. There were even things that Lyra herself didn't even mention or he doubted that she even knew. Things like the conversation between Serafina Pekkala and Lee Scoresby in the north and the thoughts of the Master of Jordan about Lyra. It was amazing how much information that this book had. It was like the author had somehow had been there and in everyone's minds and had written it all down for the world to read.

As he reached the end of _The Golden Compass_, his heart had begun to beat rapidly and his hands were starting to shake. He was getting nearer and nearer to the part where Lyra stepped into the world where they had met. But before that could happen, the book ended in a dramatic cliff-hanger fashion, leaving Will and Kirjava, now in his lap, wanting more. He closed the book with his unsteady hands and sat there mind blank with shock. The book had been right on target of what had really happened, based on what Lyra had told him. Kirjava looked up at him, thinking the same thing. It couldn't be, maybe the author had changed something, it couldn't be exactly right.

"There's only one way to find out, Will," said Kirjava looking down at the shopping bag still laying at the side of the chair.

Will nodded and got up. He reached over to the bag and picked it up, the plastic crinkling in his trembling hand. He dropped _The Golden Compass_ and pulled out _The Subtle Knife_. He released the bag as he stared once again at the artist's picture of him and Lyra. _Lyra…_

"Will, read," begged Kirjava from the chair's arm.

He looked at her, staring at the big bright cat eyes, gleaming with nervous worry. She wanted to know if it was all real, if this unknown author really had written their past word for word. He nodded and fell into the arm chair and opened _The Subtle Knife_.

_Will tugged at his mother's hand…_

The real Will nearly fainted with shock as he read the first few lines of the book. His whole body was shaking now, as Kirjava claws dug into the arm of the chair, ears back.

"No, no, no," muttered Kirjava. "This can't be true, can't be, just can't be…"

But it seemed true. As Will read on, more and more of the day that he took his mother to Mrs. Cooper's house came back to him and it was exactly like it was in the book.

"May-maybe, it's not _all_ true, Will. Maybe some of it is different," said Kirjava, still digging into the chair.

"Maybe…" replied Will, voice unstable.

He read on. He read about things that where almost an exact carbon-copy of his memory. Things like how he had accidently killed someone and how he found the window that led him to find Cittagazze. He read about things that he had managed to forget but where slipping back into his memory as he read. Things like his fantasies of what might happen if he was caught, exactly what he did to try to blend in, and his first thoughts about Lyra. He read about his feelings. Like when what he felt when the alethiometer got stolen or when he had lost his two fingers. But what freaked Will out the most was not the weird outsider point of view to his own thoughts and feeling, but the fact that he now knew Lyra's and other's thoughts and feelings. He now knew more about the events that changed his life then he ever knew before and it really unnerved him.

When he reached the part when Lee Scoresby first met his father, Will's hands were shaking so badly that he had to stop reading and calm down before he could continue. And when he did continue it was only because Kirjava forced him to keep reading.

By the time Will was finished, the night had past and the sun was peaking its fiery head over the horizon. Will sat there, letting the sun peak through the window, stomach in knots and thoughts swimming around his head. The book had recorded the events exactly how they had happened.

"But it can't be true, Will. It just can't, just can't. Read the third book. There has to be something that's different." whispered Kirjava, now a little more relaxed but still very tense.

But Will couldn't read the third book. If everything was exactly how it happened, as it was in the other two books, then he just couldn't bear reading about his loss. It would be like reliving the worst time of his life and he just didn't think his heart could take it. Will looked at his daemon, knowing that she now knew the reason why he couldn't check the third book to make sure that all was true. Kirjava nodded, understanding.

They sat there for awhile, just staring at the white blank walls uneasiness pouring down on them like a winter rain storm. It wasn't until Will's thirst started to set in, did they finally get up and out of that recliner. Will slumped over to the tiny kitchen, Kirjava trailing behind him, and began to make some coffee. His daemon jumped up on the counter and nudged a box of cereal over to him.

"Eat," she ordered giving him stern look.

Will grabbed the box, lazily opened it and began eating the cereal dry. He wasn't that hungry, but he wanted to please Kirjava. It wouldn't be good for her to sulk off and leave him all alone. Will didn't think he could bear to be alone at the moment.

Thoughts about Lyra circled his head as the drip of the coffee sounded throughout the kitchen. Will eyes drifted over to his bulletin board in the corner. There sat a calendar with his hand writing filling in most of small square dates. He had a dentist appointment today. He was going to miss that. Midsummer's Day was on there too, it being circled several times in red. His heart quaked, what was he going to say to Lyra? Will tried to imagine what Lyra would say in response. But before he could come up with an answer, his eyes spotted the picture of Mary and a sudden urge to call her popped up in his mind. He hadn't spoken to Mary in weeks, and he had no idea what he would say once he got a hold of her, but Will knew he had to talk to her.

He set down the box of cereal and started to dig into his pants pockets for his cell phone. Kirjava's ears perked up and her head turned toward Will, sensing his urgency. Will located his phone and flipped it open, his hands once again trembling. Then slowly but surely, he began dialing Mary Malone's number.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I do not own His Dark Materials.

"Will? Is that you? Why are you calling so early in the morning?" Mary Malone's sleepy voice carried over to Will's ear has he clutched his cell phone against his face.

"Sorry. Didn't know it was so early," Will responded shakily.

Kirjava was rubbing against his legs, trying to calm him down while nervous herself.

"Will, are you alright?" Mary asked, her voice suddenly sounding quite awake.

Will hesitated. He didn't know exactly what do say to Mary. If he told her the truth she would probably drive right over, worrying about his sanity. On the other hand, if he lied and said something else there was no point in waking her up so early in the morning. He looked down at his daemon pleading her for her advice.

"Tell her the truth," whispered Kirjava.

Will nodded and looked back up, ready to tell Mary what had happened.

"No, I'm not alright. There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it, Will?" asked Mary, worry still in her voice.

"Lena showed me this new book series. And…well the books tell the story of me and Lyra," Will said that last part very fast, knowing full and well how crazy that sounded.

There was no answer on the other end. Heart hammering in his chest, he looked down at Kirjava, unease in his eyes. His daemon looked up at him, with the same look in her eyes.

"Mary?" Will asked tentatively.

"Will…" started the uneasy voice of Mary.

"Yes?"

"Uh…Are you sure that that wasn't just a dream you just had?"

"No."

"Will…"

"Mary, I'm not crazy. I'm telling the truth."

"Will…"

"Mary, please," Will clung to the phone, desperately wanting Mary to believe him, but a hole of uneasiness had started to form in his stomach at the thought that she might never will.

A few seconds of silence pasted, in which the only sound that could be heard was the constant and ominous drip of the coffee maker echoing through the white kitchen that suddenly seemed very cold and bare to Will. All of a sudden a sigh sounded through the other end of the phone. It sounded tired and worried. The kind of sigh that mom would exhale when her child said they were alright, when she knew full and well that they were not.

She's not going to believe me, thought Will. He had to say something, anything do make her realize that he was telling the truth.

"Ask me a question," Will blurted out.

"What?" responded Mary, sounding completely puzzled.

"Ask me something that you haven't told me about when you first met Lrya."

"Will…"

"Ask me! Please."

Another sigh sounded as Will's heart pounded in his ears.

"Okay…uh...How long did I have to get a proposal together to try and get more funding for our experiments on dark matter?"

For a second Will panicked. He didn't know the answer to that question. He had no clue in the world what it would be. And now Mary's never going to believe him and he would be left all alone in knowing the truth. Suddenly there was a sharp pinch in his ankle. Will looked down and spotted his daemon, she had bit him. Will could feel her anger as he gazed at her sleek fur.

"You are never alone, Will," stated Kirjava.

Will nodded and as he did so, a thought popped into his head.

"Hold on," Will said to Mary as he hurriedly set down the phone and rushed into the living room.

He gazed around the room and spotted _The Subtle Knife_ sitting forgotten on the floor near the recliner. He reached down and grasped the book, hands trembling once more. Will flipped through it, looking desperately for a certain page. After a few seconds of searching, Will found it. He rushed back to the phone, and began to speak the answer.

"One week. You had one week to get the proposal together. And you didn't think that you had, quote 'a hope in hell.'"

"H-how did you know that?" questioned Mary.

"It's in one of the books that I told you about," responded Will.

There was another silence, but this one was different. Not only was Will less aware of the dripping coffee pot and more aware of his worried daemon, but there was less of a sense of tension on Mary's side. It wasn't a pause of anxiety but now a pause of surprise. Will's hands stopped shaking and Kirjava began to lightly purr. A light started to shin in his heart as hope made its first appearance since finding out about the books. Mary was going to believe him now, thought Will. There's just no other conclusion that she could make. She had to accept that these books were telling the truth.

"What's the name of the series?" asked Mary obviously trying to find a loophole to the unbelievable truth.

"His Dark Materials, by Philip Pullman," said Will.

"Okay, hold on."

There was a shuffling on the other end as Mary set down the phone and then there was silence.

"She's going to look it up," commented Kirjava, jumping up on the counter top.

Will nodded, knowing that that was probably right. He was smiling, knowing that Mary was going to find the books, discover out the truth and believe him. It was only a matter of time…

The coffee was done, Will had cleaned off his box of cereal and he was about to pour himself a cup, when Mary finally came back.

"Will, I believe you," said Mary sounding amazed that those words had even come out of her mouth.

"Thanks," replied Will, his smile practically ear to ear.

"Will, what are we going to do?"

"What?"

"What are we going to do? People are going to start to ask questions, you know."

Will's smile faded. He hadn't really thought about yet. On a normal occasion that would have been one of the first things he thought of, but then again anything that included any mention of Lyra made Will do things that he normal wouldn't do, or think for that matter. But Mary was right. People were going to wonder where Philip Pullman got the idea to write that story, and that would lead to questions and possibly someone finding out that it was all true. Will started to think of exaggerated scenes where reporters were following him and Mary, pestering them with questions about their adventures and Lyra. Will's stomach gave a little jolt. He might not be able to go to the Botanic Garden on Midsummer's Day. What would Lyra think if he wasn't there? Would she think that he didn't love her anymore? Panic struck his heart, as his hands once again began to shake.

"WILL STOP!! " shouted his daemon. "I beg you! Please stop…"

"Will? Will, what's going on? I can hear Kirjava, is anything wrong? Will?" came Mary's worried voice on the other end.

"Y-yeah. Everything's alright," answered Will, breathing fast.

He was trying to calm his nerves and get unwanted thoughts out of his mind, all the while being fully aware of his daemons weary eyes watching him closely. Taking deep breaths and focusing on happy thoughts seemed to be working, but Will just couldn't get the idea of not being able to go see Lyra out of his head.

"That's it. I'm coming over there. And nothing you can say, Will, will change my mind," stated Mary suddenly.

"Wait!" yelled Will, coming to his senses. "No, Mary you don't…" but it was already too late, she had hung up and was now on her way.

Will cursed. Why had he even called Mary in the first place? It was all a mistake. Now she was taking the trouble to drive over to him. She had more important things to do then worry about him. She had experiments to conduct and tasks to accomplish, for she was now back in the science world heading more experiments on dark matter and other related things. Will felt that Mary had already spent enough time worrying about him, and should just get on with her life and leave him alone. He could take care of himself.

"Then why did you call her, in the first place?" asked Kirjava.

Will turned to look at his beautiful daemon, with her sleek fur that shone different colors, just like oil dripping from a broken car. He tried to think of an answer to her question, one where it fit his moaning about not wanting Mary's help. But he couldn't. He knew that he the only reason he called Mary was to get her help and her advice. He cursed again.

"Will, I know that you don't like that you need Mary. But you the fact is that you do. We do," spoke Kirjava.

She walked up to him, and licked his three fingered left hand lovingly. He petted her in response, as she purred back. She was right, and Will hated that. He didn't want Mary to care like his mother once did, but at the same time he wanted that, he needed that.

Will glanced down at his left hand and his thoughts went back to the books. He was thinking about Philip Pullman's recount of how he had lost his pinkie and ring finger and the how he felt when that had happened. It was so accurate that it seemed like Philip Pullman was there inside his head, watching and recording it happen.

How, thought Will. How, in the world did this happen? How did he know so much? But before Will could think anymore, his ringtone rang out and echo throughout the white kitchen. He stopped petting Kirjava and picked up his cell phone. Lena's face with her caring brown eyes stared out of his cell phone's screen. Will set it down again. He was not in the mood to talk to Lena, not after what he had just read. She was going to ask questions, and questions were the last thing he wanted right now.

"Talk to her. She only wants the best. She loves you, you know," commented Kirjava.

"No," replied Will.

"Come on Will. You love her too, or at least you used to."

"I said no. I don't want to talk to Lena right now."

"Will…"

"_No_."

His daemon glared at him, her anger radiating out. Will expected her to sulk off to the bedroom, but she didn't. She stayed there, fuming while the phone rang on and on. A wave of gratitude and love towards Kirjava for staying washed over Will. She knew that he still needed her, and she was putting her anger aside and remaining there for him. He smiled and went over to fix himself a cup of coffee, while the phone continued ringing.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I do not own His Dark Materials.

Lena had called twice more, Will had ignored her both times, against his daemon's constant protests, and two hours had gone by before Mary finally rang his door bell. When Will opened the door, he came face to face the woman who had taken him in, had barely seen in past few years and who after all that time came to his aid when he need her.

"Will!" exclaimed Mary Malone.

Next thing Will knew, he was being pulled into Mary's arms in a hug. The shock wore off quickly and once it did, he hugged her back, thankful that she was here. Mary released Will first and held him at arm's length.

"Oh Will. How I've missed you. You know it's strange that when you were away, I always thought you as that 12 year old I first met. But now that I see you after so long…Oh, Will," and she pulled him into another hug.

"I've missed you too, Mary," Will said with a laugh.

Mary finally did discharge him from her grasp after a few seconds, and once she did, Will looked at her. Funny, but he always thought of her the woman he met all those years ago, like she thought of him as a 12 year old boy. But now that she was in front of him after such an extensive period of time, he could see that she was much older than he had pictured in his head. There were small laugh lines near her eyes, a few gray strands in her head of black hair and her once rosy cheeks were starting to lose their color.

"Uh," said Mary turning away. "So this is your flat?"

"Yah. I think you've been here before, right?" responded Will.

"Of course. I helped you move in. But I thought you would've added at least a few pictures on the walls by now," replied Mary looking around at the white and beige world of Will's home.

Will had had a few chances to decorate his flat, but for some reason he didn't want to. He liked it this way. But he knew that Mary wouldn't think the same way. Fortunately, he was saved from answering to that comment, for his daemon, Kirjava spoke for him.

"Well, we haven't had much time to decorate, that's all."

"Oh! Kirjava. How are you?" said Mary turning to look down at Will's daemon.

"As well as Will," replied Kirjava.

Will looked down at her, she was sitting and staring up at Mary. He could feel the mixed feelings of anger, worry, relief, and nervousness come off her like heat off a lamp. He reached down and pick up his daemon, cradling her in his arms.

"And how are you Will?" quietly questioned Mary looking back at him.

He could see the concern shinning in her eyes. She wanted him to tell her the truth. But the problem was that the truth was complicated. He really didn't know how he was feeling. He felt glad that she was here, but bad because of what she was here for. There were other minor things that made it even more complicated. Like all the feelings and questions he had about Philip Pullman's books and about Lyra. Will wished more than ever that Lyra was here right now with him. She would've known what to do, but she's not here and she'll never be, he thought.

"Will? Just-" but whatever Mary was going to say was lost to the world, for at the same moment Will's cell phone rang loudly from the kitchen.

Kirjava jumped out of Will's arms and ran to the kitchen, while Will himself stayed planted to the spot.

"Aren't you going to see who it is?" asked Mary obviously confused.

"I already know who it is. It's Lena," replied Will.

"Lena?"

Will nodded just as the ringing stopped. Mary looked at him questioningly but before she could say anything Kirjava came back into the room, glaring at Will.

"You should talk to her, Will," his daemon said angrily.

Will could feel her fury coming off her. He felt bad for making her this furious, but there was no way that he would talk to Lena. Not now, not after what happened at her house.

"No," Will stated simply.

"Lena's your girlfriend, right?" questioned Mary.

"Yes," replied Will, trying not to let Kirjava's glare affect him.

"Didn't you say that Lena was the one that showed you the books by Philip Pullman?"

"Yes."

"Did borrow her copies?"

"No, I bought my own."

"Where are they?"

"Over by the chair in the living room," said Will pointing to the doorway that led to the living room.

He didn't feel like seeing those books again. Will was trying hard to keep his hands from shaking again, just thinking about them. He didn't think that he could hold back his feelings if he set eyes on the books that turned his world upside down. He didn't want to show Mary how bad that series had affected him. It was bad enough that she was here, but seeing him break down would be even worse. She already had seen him do that once, years ago. He was not going to let that happen again.

Mary walked out of the hallway and into the living room. Will could hear her searching around, finally finding the books and heading back. When Mary strolled back into the hallway, his heartbeat had become rapid, his palms had begun to sweat and his hands were once again shaking. One of the books was in Mary's hands. Kirjava, forgetting her anger, walked over to Will and started to rub his legs, hoping against hope to calm him down. Meanwhile Will was looking at Mary, trying not to let his gaze drift down to the book. She was staring at _The Amber Spyglass_, her face was pale.

"I thought reading about these books online was creepy, but now that I have one of them in front of me…" Mary trailed off as a shudder ran through her body.

"You aren't the one that's r-read them," replied Will, trying to keep his voice steady but not really succeeding.

"Yah, well I don't think I'll be doing that anytime soon," said Mary weakly.

Will couldn't think of anything to say in response. He's never seen Mary like this. She was pale and sickly looking, like she had a very bad unknown illness. In fact she looked like his mom days before she died. Will's stomach lurched and the feeling of uneasiness increase, if that was possible. He didn't like seeing his mom like this, much less Mary. But before Will's brain could think of horrible futures, the phone rang again. Both people jumped and came back to reality.

"L-lena again?" questioned Mary, finally taking her eyes off the book and letting the color come back to her cheeks.

"Probably," responded Will.

He could feel Kirjava's rage once more, but he ignored her. He had more important things to do then worrying about Lena and his daemon.

"Don't answer it. Who knows what she might ask," said Mary.

After the words of Mary were spoken out loud, Will could feel Kirjava fury ebb. I had taken Mary to say it, but his daemon was beginning to realize that speaking to Lena wasn't such of a good thing right now. Despite himself Will felt some of his tension drop and a small amount of relief wash over him. Even if he didn't show it, he did care what Kirjava felt. She was part of him after all.

"Come on Will. Let's put the kettle on. I'll make tea. I think we'll all do good with some tea in our stomachs. I know _I_ will," beckoned Mary already heading into the kitchen.

Will followed her, walking stiffly, obviously still uneasy. Kirjava trailed close behind. The ringing had stopped once they strolled into the kitchen, but the presence of the cell phone still grabbed Will's attention. Lena...He knew he loved her and that she would be extremely worried about him, but his mind was cloudy. She would ask questions. Plus Mary said not to talk to her.

"Where's the kettle?" asked Mary setting the book down on the counter.

"Uh…Second cabinet on the right."

Will was tired. All he wanted to do was crawl into bed and sleep his life away. The coffee had woken him up, but the emotions that were rushing through him were taking their toll. Will walked over to a wall and leaned his back against it. He closed his eyes and felt his body slide down against the rough, white kitchen wall and his bottom landing on the smooth, tiled kitchen floor. His hands had stopped shaking and his heartbeat was back to normal but now instead his whole body was aching. Aching like he had just run a mile in midday heat. He wanted his mom. He needed her warm arms to cradle him and to say that everything was alright, like she used to do when he was very little, before she became ill. But that was never going to happen, and Will knew it even though it broke his already torn heart. But all he wanted to do right now was sleep. Sleep and sleep and sleep….


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I do not own His Dark Materials. Every quote I got directly from the books, I didn't make them up. Oh the irony…

Will was with Lyra again, back the Guild of the Torre degli Angeli's tower, otherwise known as the Tower of the Angels. His hand was hurting again, hurting and burning with the pain of just losing two fingers. Lyra was worried. Still Giacomo Paradisi started to teach him how to cut through to another world using the famed Subtle Knife.

_Focus your mind. Don't think about your wound. It will heal. Think about the knife tip. That is where you are. Now feel with it, very gently…_

But Will couldn't, he was too tired and his hand hurt too much. His thoughts were on his mom, about how he left her all alone. He was crying now, he could practically feel the water rolling down his cheeks and his chest heaving in sorrow. But then something happened. Pantalaimon was on his leg. Now he was licking Will's wound. It felt to so real, he could even feel the tongue rubbing gently against his skin. But then something even weirder happened. He heard his name being called from a far off distance, like in another world. The voice grew louder and was suddenly joined by another voice.

"Will!" they called.

Will couldn't respond. They were too far away.

"Will!"

Now the voices didn't feel a world away, but closer. And they came closer and closer and closer…

"Will!"

Will opened his eyes and found himself on the cold kitchen floor. There were dry tears on his face and his hand still hurt. Mary was nearby, along with Kirjava. They were both looking at him nervously, their eyes full to the brim with worry.

"Will, are you okay?"

It was Mary's voice, one of the voices that were calling his name. She had her hand on his shoulder. Will could feel her nail digging anxiously into his flesh.

"Will?"

This time it was Kirjava, his beloved daemon. And instantly Will knew that it was her that had licked his hand, not Pantalaimon. Will could feel the unease and concern coming off her as she nudged him with her nose, lovingly.

"Will-" but before Mary could say anything, she was cut off by the phone ringing, again.

"Okay that's it! I'm going to turn that stupid phone off!" and with that Mary took her hand off of Will's shoulder and walked over to his cell phone lying and still ringing on the counter.

"Are you okay, Will?" questioned his daemon quietly as Mary fiddled with the phone.

"You know the answer to that, Kirjava," whispered Will, getting up and petting her.

The ache in his hand was now gone, but replaced by an even worse stabbing pain in the back of his head. He winced as he continued to sit up, petting Kirjava all the while. She purred and jumped up into Will's lap, comforting in the way only a daemon could.

"Okay. That won't be ringing anytime soon," stated Mary, walking back over to Will. She kneeled beside him, concern still in her eyes. "Will, are-"

"I'm fine, Mary," said Will cutting her off.

He wasn't fine, but he didn't want her to know that. She would only worry about him. She had already fretted over Will enough in his lifetime and he didn't want any more of that. But Mary still stayed next to him, gazing at his face, trying to find out if he really was telling the truth. She seemed to decide that he was or was not going to tell the truth, for she got up and went over to the stove where the kettle stood waiting to be filled.

"You know I'll always be there for you, Will," stated Mary filling the kettle, keeping her eyes away from him.

Will didn't respond. He liked that fact about Mary, but at the same time he didn't. It was complicated, very complicated. Sometimes he wished that it wasn't, but the fact was that it was, and will always be. Will sighed and then groaned as his headache pulsed fiery pain to his brain. He just wanted things to go back to normal, or as normal as they've been since he came back. He wished he'd never found out about those stupid books.

"Everything will work out, Will. It always does," whispered Kirjava.

Will looked down at his daemon and remembered back to his dream, where he didn't have Kirjava to cheer him up. In the book, Philip Pullman said that Lyra had felt sorry for him. He now understood why she felt that way. After having a daemon for so long, it's hard to think back to the days where he didn't have one. And when he did, he felt sorry for himself and thought how he had ever got a long without one. He loved Kirjava so much. And he should, what with her being part of him and all.

Will stayed on the floor with his daemon in his lap purring and whispering reassurances, while Mary made tea. After the kettle blew its top, Mary poured the water into the mugs and added tea bags. Then she walked over to Will.

"Here, take this. You'll feel better," said Mary handing him a mug full of steaming hot Earl Gray.

"Thanks, Mary," replied Will taking the mug, but staying on the floor with his daemon.

Mary looked down at him from her standing height, sighed and then joined him down on the ground. Will could hear her knees popping as she lowered herself. Mary really was getting old; time really was moving on, with or without him, thought Will. He sighed and took a drink of tea.

"I don't think I'll be able to do that in a few years," commented Mary once she finally sat down.

Will took another sip of tea, keeping his eyes down on the smooth white surface of the kitchen floor.

"You know what freaks me out even more then having my past being written in a book?" ask Mary looking over at Will.

"What?" he responded quietly.

He was afraid that Mary would ask the question that had been on his mind ever since he read the books. He didn't know why, he just didn't want it to be spoken out loud.

"The fact that this Philip Pullman knew the story without once speaking to us."

A minuscule wave of relief washed over Will, for Mary had not asked the question that was on his mind. He heard Mary take a large gulp from her mug, and his relief went away as quickly as it came. It freaks her out too, he thought. Philip Pullman got inside their heads and wrote down their thoughts; that would freak anyone out.

"Tell me Will. How much of the books were true? I mean it can't be _all_ true, right? There has to be _something_ that is made up," said Mary.

Another search for a loophole. Will knew that she would keep on searching until she read the books or settled for the truth. That's just human nature.

"It's true, Mary. What happened and more…" Will swallowed, thinking back to the part of _The Subtle Knife_ where Lee Scoresby had traveled with his dad. He took a big drink tea.

"But it can't, just can't," stuttered Mary.

"Well, it is. And unless you want to read the books for yourself, you're just going to have to take our word for it," sharply replied Kirjava.

Mary stared at Will's daemon for a few seconds but turned away and gazed down at her mug, watching the steam drift up and out into the cold air they breathed.

"I'm sorry. I forgot that you…I'm sorry," softly stated Mary.

"It's okay. I wasn't sure myself until I read two of the books. But just trust me, Mary. It's all…true," as Will said that his hands started to shake, his heart starting to speed up, and a knot formed in his stomach again. He took another shaky drink but then quickly put down the mug, afraid that he would spill the tea all over himself because of his unsteady hands.

He felt Mary's gaze on him, her eyes were probably filled with concern again, but Will didn't check to make sure. He didn't think he could take it. Suddenly he felt Mary's hand rubbing his back and Kirjava nuzzling against his leg.

"It'll be okay. We'll find answers. We'll deal with it. We always seem to do," stated Mary, taking her hand off his back.

His daemon purred in agreement and found himself Will nodding. His heart slowed and his hands calmed, but the knot in his stomach stayed. He didn't think anything could loosen it. Not with that book out in the world, and Lyra so far away.

"Go to bed. Try to get some sleep," ordered Mary.

Will nodded again, knowing that that was probably the best thing to do. He picked his daemon up and pushed himself up and off the floor. Then he proceeded out of the kitchen. His footsteps were leaden and slow as fatigue started to weigh down on his body. But that stopped for suddenly the doorbell echoed throughout the flat, making Will jump, Kirjava leap out of his hands and fatigue fade away. He could hear Mary getting up behind him, as the doorbell faded away.

"Don't worry. I'll get it. You need to go to bed," said Mary, followed by the clink of the mugs being set into the kitchen sink.

And with that she strode out of the room. Will heard the front door open, Mary's voice, some footsteps, Mary's voice again, and more footsteps, until suddenly Will was face to face with his girlfriend of more than 12 months, Lena.


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING of His Dark Materials, sadly. But I do own Lena...At least that's something…

"I'm sorry. She barged in here. I couldn't stop her. She wouldn't take no for an answer," hurriedly said Mary as she walked into the room right behind Lena.

"Of course I wouldn't. Will rushed out of my house, white as paper, and hands shaking like crazy. I have a right to be worried, and the fact that he wouldn't answer any of my calls didn't help," snapped Lena.

She looked little more rested than when Will had last seen her. She had changed out of her PJ's, now wearing some jeans and her leather jacket that she had worn when Will had met her. Her hair also looked like it had been washed and brushed and her eyes were not as bloodshot, but the bags under them were still there. It looked like she barely got any sleep last night.

The knot in Will's stomach tightened at the thought that her lack of sleep was probably because she was fretting about him. Great, just what he needed, another person to be worried for him.

"Speaking of that. Will, tell me. What in the hell is going on? Why did you freak out when you saw the books?" asked Lena, turning on Will, the expected concern in her big brown eyes.

Will tensed and his heart speed up, while is daemon's ears went back as she stepped closer to him. He was afraid that Lena would ask that. That was the reason, after all, why he didn't answer her calls. She was going to ask questions, and now that was exactly what was happening. But before he had a chance to say anything, Mary spoke for him.

"It wasn't the books that freaked him out. It was just a coincidence that he was looking at the books when he…he remembered that the anniversary of his mother's death is today. Happy? Now please leave. He needs to get some sleep."

Lena turned towards Mary, looking her in the eye, and then turned back to Will.

"Is that true, Will?"

Her voice was on edge while concern glittered brightly in her eyes. She wanted to know. She _really_ wanted to know.

Will nodded, feeling slightly guilty that he was lying to the woman that probably loved him with all her heart. But he couldn't tell her the truth. There were just some things that weren't meant to be told, or written down for that matter. And Will's past was one of them.

Lena stared at him silently at time ticked by. Will could tell that she was thinking, probably deciding what to do next. Still, he couldn't take her deep brown eyes staring at him, the same eyes that at times made his heart tremble with love for her. Will looked away and turned to the ground, pretending to inspect the tiles, but really it was just to escape those eyes.

"Lena, please. Will needs to rest. He's been through a lot in the past 24 hours," pleaded Mary, breaking up the silence.

"No," Lena responded quietly. "No, there's something else going on here. Something you guys aren't telling me."

"There's _nothing_ we're not telling you. Please, leave," argued Mary.

Will heard Lena turn back around towards Mary. He looked up, just as Lena spoke again.

"You're the woman that adopted him, right. Mary _Malone_."

"Yes. Now go. Please. Will is not in the mood to talk to you right now," responded Mary, annoyed.

"Wasn't Will's late mother named Elaine Parry? And his father named John Parry?" demanded Lena.

"Enough questions. You can ask them all later. _When Will is feeling better._ Now _leave_!"

"I'm not leaving until I get some answers."

"You can get them later. Now _go_!"

"I'm not leaving!" exclaimed Lena.

Suddenly she rounded on Will. There was caring passion glowing in her eyes. She was not going to stop until she got the truth, Will knew that. But she was not going to get it. She's not supposed to know the truth, no one is supposed to. It was something between Mary and him only. They were not going to tell anyone, that was what they agreed years and years ago. Will stood tall, steeling himself for the tidal wave of question was sure to come. He stood even though his heart pounded fast and his hands continued to tremble. And Kirjava did the same, standing tall and bold next to him, ready for the challenge ahead.

"Will, you told me. You told that your father disappeared when you were young, and that your mother became sick a few years afterwards. You told me that your last name used to be Parry. Parry! _Will Parry_. Just like in the books. It's _all_ like the books. You have _two_ fingers missing on your _left_ hand, for god's sake. You're friends with a _Mary Malone_! And…and…"

Lena scanned the kitchen for something else to point out. After a few seconds her eyes landed on the calendar pined up on the bulletin board. She walked over to it.

"Midsummer Day is circled on here. Last year on Midsummer Day you disappeared, saying that you had something to do. What is that Will?" She walked backed over to Will, and looked him in the eye, her own pleading in honest desperation. "Tell me. Please tell me. I want to know." Lena's voice was cracking, and she looked like she was on the verge of tears.

Will felt his knees grow weak. Her eyes, those deep, chocolate brown eyes, so different from the crystal blue of Lyra's, yet they had the same effect as those pools of blue. Will couldn't take it. Lena was obviously desperate for answers, yet it was also obvious that she cared for him. That she was worried for him, and desperate to help him. Should he tell her what she wanted to know?

"No. I know what you're thinking, Will. I know what I said before about talking to her, but now listen to me now and say nothing. Don't tell her _anything_," pleaded Kirjava.

In the corner of his eye, he could see Mary nodding her head in agreement. They didn't want Will to tell Lena the thing that she so anxiously wanted to know.

"Will?" breathed Lena, as she took hold of Will's shoulders. "I…I love you and…and I'm worried. Something is wrong. There's just too many coincidences and you won't tell me anything. Please. Please I beg you. Will, if you love me, you'll tell me. Tell me the _truth_."

"Lena, I…"

His heart was confused. He loved Lena but he still loved Lyra and she'll always be on his mind. Always there, always his first love. There was also the fact that Lena wanted the truth, and that was something that he could not give her, no matter how much he loved her.

"I…I…"

She was looking at him with her brown eyes, which were now filling up with tears. There was just something about those eyes; something that made Will love her. Before, when he had just discovered the books, he couldn't see what that was. But now that she was here in his house, standing so close to him, and on the verge of crying, Will could see it and it broke his heart even more to say those two tiny words.

"I…can't."

"What? What…do you mean, Will?"

"I'm…I'm sorry…"

"But Will…"

"Lena," Will reached up and took her hands off his shoulders. He held her them, feeling her warm, soft skin with his fingertips. "…Leave. You have to leave."

Oh god those eyes. They were going to kill his already wounded heart. But he had to do that. He had to. Right? He couldn't tell her. Right?

"Will, don't," warned Kirjava.

There were tears leaking out of Lena's chocolate brown eyes now. They glistened in the kitchen light as they slid down her cheeks and Will's heart began to ache. She pulled her hands out of his grasp.

"As you wish," and with that she started to walk out of the kitchen and towards the front door.

Will couldn't bare seeing her like that. He had only seen Lena like that once before, and on that occasion he had not been the one who had caused her tears. And now that he was, he could bare it even less. Why couldn't he tell her? Why did he have to keep his past a secret from the woman he loved? He knew her past, why couldn't he tell her his?

"No! Will, you mustn't!" begged his daemon.

He watched as his girlfriend turned into the hallway. It was only a matter of seconds until she was gone, probably forever. He couldn't. He couldn't let her go. Last time he didn't have a choice but to watch the woman he loved walk away. But now he did have a choice, he wasn't going to let it happen again.

"Lena! Wait!"


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I do not own His Dark Materials….*sigh*

"Will no!" exclaimed his daemon and Mary.

But he ignored them and continued on his way to Lena, who was currently placing her hand on the doorknob of the front door.

"Lena! Don't-don't go," said Will, reaching his girlfriend.

"Will? Wha-what-" but Will cut her off. He had to say it before Mary and Kirjava could stop him.

"It's true."

"What? What's true?"

Her tears had seemed to stop falling as utter bewilderment took its place.

"The books, everything. It's all true."

"Will, what do you mean?"

He took hold of her shoulders. She had to understand, otherwise everything would fail and he would still lose her. And Will couldn't lose another love.

"That's why I freaked out; it was because of the books. Because they're true! Lena, don't you get it? You just noticed the coincidences moments before. I'm Will _Parry_! My father disappeared when I was young. I have three fingers on my left hand. I know a Mary Malone! You wanted the truth, well there it is. It's true, _all_ true."

Lena stared at him with her hypnotizing brown eyes. Will knew that she was searching. Searching to find out if what he said was correct. His heart pounded fast in his chest as the knot in his stomach twisted tighter and he tried to control is shaking hands. She had to believe him, she just had to. But before Lena had a chance to say anything in response, a voice sounded down the hallway.

"Will!"

It was Mary's voice, soon followed by Kirjava's.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Say you believe me. Please-" but Will's urgent whispering was cut off by his daemon.

"Will, you fool. Now Lena's going to leave forever, thinking that you're a nutcase. And on top of all that, you broke our promise with Mary."

She silently had walked up beside him. He could feel the fury coming off her. She was even angrier than when he had refused to talk to Lena in the first place. He resisted his urge to look down at her and speak his reply. Instead he thought it, knowing that she would be able to hear it.

_I had to do it, Kirjava. She was going to leave anyways if I didn't. Plus she had a right to know,_ thought Will.

"But now she's going to think you're crazy. _And_ you lost Mary's trust," spoke Kirjava.

_That was a chance I had to take. As for Mary, she'll stand by our side no matter what I do._

"But Will-" but Lena cut in, speaking the words that Will wanted to hear the most.

"I believe you."

Will stared at her and felt an overwhelming wave of love for his girlfriend. She had just said she'd believed the impossible and that made his heart swell with joy. In fact he kissed her for it. It was a short one, more than a peck and less than a long make-out session. More like a fleeting burst of passion that lasted a few brief seconds, than anything else.

When Will released Lena, she stared at him; her deep brown eyes were written with pity, sadness and love. She then took her hand and tenderly ran her fingers through his hair.

"Oh, Will…" she whispered. "Now I get it. It all makes sense. I always knew you had been through rough things, but I never thought that it was that rough. I have no idea what you must be going through after finding out about those books."

As she said those words her eyes started to fill with tears again, for the sorrow and pity she was feeling for her boyfriend. In response to her reaction, Will took her hand and spoke.

"Enough with the pity. I've had enough of it in my lifetime from Mary. I don't need it from you. Not now. Not ever."

Lena gazed at him, her deep brown eyes still welling up with tears. She obviously loved him with all her heart, and she now couldn't bare the fact Will had been through so much pain, even if it had been in years before. But Will didn't need her pity. He meant what he said. He had gotten too much from Mary in the past.

"Speaking of Mary…" commented Kirjava.

Will looked away from his girlfriend and back at Mary Malone. She was standing there, pale with a combination of feelings rushing across her face. She looked furious but at the same time sympathetic, sad but at the same time happy, and other conflicting feelings. She also looked old, and tired, like the many years of her life was finally catching up to her and weighing down her shoulders like two ton boulders.

"Will," she called out with a raspy voice. "Can I speak to you?"

Will nodded, let go of Lena and walked over to Mary. I didn't know what to feel. He knew he should feel guilty like a little boy who just stole cookies from a cookie jar, but this was different than a simple childhood crime. Will just did something against a promise that he and Mary made each other a long time ago, a promise that had held strong until their world had been turned upside down by three books. He knew he felt that he did the right thing, contrary to what his daemon thought. Lena had to know, he had to tell her. Otherwise he would've lost her. Just like Lyra. He knew that Mary would understand, but at the moment he wasn't quite sure.

"Mary, I-"

"No need to explain Will. Some things don't need to be put into words," Mary said with a sigh. "I-I wish I could say what I'm feeling right now, but for some reason I-I don't know." She looked down and rubbed her temples. Obviously trying to figure out what she was going to say.

Will clenched his fists, trying to sooth his now uneasy stomach. _What was Mary trying to say? Was she angry? What was going on?_ Those questions and more rushed through his brain as Mary gathered her thoughts.

"Will I-" started Mary, looking back at Will, but she was cut off.

"Don't worry Mary. I don't think Will's crazy, and I won't tell anyone," stated Lena coming up behind Will, standing strong.

"That's not it. It's-it's…Oh god…Those _stupid_ books! Everything's so-so complicated because of them. I jus-just wish that they weren't even written," said Mary her fatigue of all the emotional stress in the past few hours finally taking toll.

Will just stood there, not knowing what to do. It felt weird watching the books effecting Mary so, when he had been so focus on his reaction for the past day. But the books weren't just about him, they were also about Mary. There had been little of her in _The Subtle Knife_, but Will had a feeling that there was more of her in _The Amber Spyglass_. It probably had an accurate account of her trip in to the world on the _mulefa_, a trip she said that was one of the best times of her life. Will could only imagine what Mary felt about that being written down for the world to read.

The knot in his stomach tightened, and doubled. Mary was standing there, as helpless as him, and there was nothing that he could do. And on top of all that, Lena now knew the truth. Mary was right. The books _had_ made everything so complicated. What was he going to do?


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I do not own His Dark Materials.

"Okay, listen you two. I have no idea what you're going through, and I don't think I ever will. But you guys look really tired and I think a good nap, or at least some something to eat would do us _all_ good. Then we could figure would what we're going to do next," spoke Lena, breaking the silence.

Will and Mary turned to her. He could see the caring and fatigue in Lena's chocolate brown eyes, while a smile was painted on her face. Will knew she was trying to help; she was just that kind of person. But the thing was, he didn't know if she could help. The books were already out, his and Mary's lives already turned upside down. Unless she could go back in time and stop that Philip Pullman from writing or publishing those stupid books, there wasn't really much she could do. Yet she still tried.

"Come on. Seriously, let's get some rest. We'll need it, trust me," urged Lena.

"'We'? Lena I don't know if there'll even be a 'we'," sighed Mary, rubbing her temples again.

Will turned to Mary, shock written on his face. How could she say that? Lena knew the truth there was no denying that, she was now part of whatever those books had started.

"Wh-what? What do you mean?" stuttered Lena, obviously confused.

"I-I mean that we, Will and I, are not sure that you need to or should be part of this," answered Mary, the fatigue clearly in her voice.

"Oh, no. You mean _you're_ not sure that Lena should be a part of this. Mary, she knows. There's no turning back," contradicted Will, fiery anger starting to boil in his chest.

He had a feeling that Mary was only trying protecting him. For some reason she thought that Lena would leave him if she got even deeper into this situation. Well he didn't need protection. He had been through worse than Mary could even imagine. Plus, she had been 'protecting' him ever since he arrived back in this world. Taking pity on him, babying him. He didn't need _any_ more of that. Yet, his daemon though otherwise.

"Will, Mary's right. Lena should leave. I know you think Mary's trying to protect you again. But it's for the best. Lena doesn't need to be in this mess," spoke Kirjava.

_But I told her. She can't leave now. She's a part of this like it or not,_ thought Will, looking down at Kirjava.

"Then you shouldn't have told her," stated his daemon in threateningly calm voice.

Out of the corner of his eye, Will could see Mary giving him a look that said she agreed with Kirjava. He shouldn't have told Lena in the first place, he had just made a complicated situation even more complicated.

"Look. I know the truth. And like Will said 'there's no turning back.' I'm now a part of this mess. Meaning that I'm not leaving, but staying here and helping out no matter _what_ you two say," stated Lena strongly.

Will looked back up at her, while in the corners of his eyes he saw Kirjava and Mary freeze, speechless. Lena stood there so defiant that for a minute Will was reminded of Lyra. There was something about her stance and the way she looked at Mary and him, that made his heart flutter. He suddenly was sure that telling Lena the truth was the right thing to do. She could handle it, and it didn't matter what the others said.

Will took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Fatigue was started to haunt him again. All this play on his emotions and nerves was draining him like a battery of an old laptop. He couldn't take it much longer. Suddenly he felt a hand at his shoulder. He opened his eyes, and found Mary at his side facing Lena.

"There's really no turning back, is there? Fine. You can stay, just-just please don't-don't ask any more questions. I don't think any of us can handle it," spoke Mary with a mixture of emotions in her voice.

Lena nodded in response.

"Okay, now bed. For everyone. I'm sure we can work something out where we can all get some rest," continued Mary.

"I could sleep in the chair, you guys can have the bed. It's big enough for both of you," offered Will yawning and stepping away from Mary's protective hand.

She let go of him willing, almost as if she knew he would do that. A sudden wave of guilt washed through him as Kirjava's quiet words filled his ears from down below, voicing a loud his thoughts.

"She cares for us, Will. She's trying to help and you're brushing her off."

Will looked away, his feelings eating up his insides. He just wanted to leave, for this whole thing to stop and for him to sleep. He was tired, oh so tired. Not waiting for someone to tell him, he started to walk over to the chair, which only hours before he had read those life changing books. He had to get some sleep or he was going to break down, and be helpless as the pity rained down on him from Mary and now Lena.

Making sure the books were out of sight, Will plopped down on the chair. He closed his eyes as Kirjava jumped up on his lap, and almost immediately they fell into the arms of lady slumber.

***

"_What's being called 'His Dark Materials' by Philip Pullman, has been turned into a huge phenomenon that's sweeping the globe. People from China to United States are falling in love with this trio of books. I'm here with the author that has created these wonderful stories, Philip Pullman," said a newscaster. _

_She was sitting in an arm chair across from an older man, in what appeared to be someone's house._

"_So tell me, Mr. Pullman, where did you get the idea to write this truly wonderful series?" questioned the newscaster._

"_Well…it's all true, you see. In fact here's Will Parry and Mary Malone now. Come here you two," answered Philip Pullman._

_Suddenly Will and Mary were right beside the author, both facing the newscaster._

"_Nice to meet you. So tell me, what's it's it like to have a daemon?" asked the newscaster._

"_Well, you see. It's quite interesting. Like having your self always split in two," said Mary, sounding and looking calm and casual._

_The newscaster smiled. Suddenly they were all in the middle of a crowd, being horded by thousands of people. Girls screamed his name, and shoved paper for him to sign in his hands. Mary was next to him, smiling and waving, acting like all this was normal._

"_Will, Mary! What's it's like to have your thoughts written down for the world to read?" yelled a reporter._

"_I love it!" answered Mary._

_All of a sudden there were in a movie theater, watching as a blonde actress stood tall and strong and a CGI goldfinch turned into a black rat next to her._

"_Who are you?" asked an off screen voice._

"_Lyra Slivertongue," replied the blonde actress._

_The movie suddenly skipped to a boy and the blonde in a sea of CGI ghosts, and then to a battle of angels and men and then to the two in a park, next to a lone bench._

"_Yes, as long as I live, I'll come back. Wherever I am in the world, I'll come back here-"_

"_On Midsummer Day. At midday. As long as I live. As long as I live," said the blonde, cutting off the boy._

_Suddenly there were back in a crowd, people as far as the eye could see trying to get close to Will, Mary, and Philip Pullman._

"_How do you feel now that the books have been turned to a movie?" quizzed a reporter._

"_Wonderful!" exclaimed the author._

"_Brilliant! It was a story that needed to be told on the silver screen!" shouted Mary._

"_Will! Will! Will!" yelled thousands of people._

_Cameras were flashing, blinding Will. He wanted to get away. He tried to run, but there were just too many people._

"_Will! Will! Will!"_

_There was Lena, in the far back, tears running down her cheeks. He tried to get to her, but he couldn't reach her. People kept pushing her away._

"_Will! Will! Will!"_

_They were closing in like hungry monster with Mary and Philip Pullman egging them on._

"_Will! Will! Will!"_

"Will!"

He woke with a start. His breath was fast as his heart pounded in his chest. Cold sweat was soaking his back as his whole body shook. His daemon was on the arm of the chair, looking up at him with worried and frightened eyes.

"You were having a nightmare. I had to wake you up," she said quietly, rubbing his three-fingered hand.

"A nightmare…it was just a nightmare…" absentmindedly commented Will, eyes still wide.

Even though he knew it was all a nightmare that still didn't make him feel any better. He felt sick with worry and fear. He couldn't get that feeling of being cornered by thousands and thousands of people, all calling his name, while Mary and Philip Pullman smiled and ate it all up, out of his head. Whereas others thought that that was a dream come true, but for a person that had lived his life in the shadows, it was a nightmare. Especially with the fact that everyone knew about that the event that completely changed his live.

Suddenly, that question popped up in his brain, again.

"How did Philip Pullman know so much? How did he know exactly what happened?" Will asked out loud.

"I wish we knew, Will. I wish we knew…" muttered Kirjava in response, climbing up in his lap and curling up in a ball, obviously trying to get away from the uneasy feelings that plagued them both.


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I do not own His Dark Materials.

Will barely slept after that nightmare. Every time he got close to nodding off, Kirjava nudged him awake, obviously afraid that he would have another nightmare. So Will sat there, half awake and half asleep, wondering all the while about this mysterious Philip Pullman. Who was he? Where did he live? And more importantly, how did he exactly know and write about something that had changed more than one life, in this world and out? And write every detail in absolute accuracy?

At that moment Lena came shuffling into the room. With the lights out and the curtains closed, she looked even more tired than before. Her eyes had returned to their bloodshot nature as they were yesterday when Will had gone to see her and normally unseen lines were suddenly pronounce on her face. She was rubbing her eyes as her feet slowly dragged her into the living room.

"Lena," quietly called Will, standing up and heading towards her.

She jumped and looked at Will, eyes wide.

"Oh," began Lena realizing that it was her boyfriend. "It's you. You frightened me."

"Sorry about that. Couldn't sleep either, eh?" questioned Will trying to grin, but it only turned into a grimace.

He could feel the nervousness and other uneasy feeling coming off his daemon. She was standing close, obviously still unsure about Lena knowing the truth. He gave her a little nudge with his leg, trying to comfort and reassure her.

"Yeah. I don't think Mary's sleeping well, too. She kept tossing and turning in the bed. I just kept thinking about those books. And I know you told me not to pity you, but I just can't help it. Now that I know the truth…" replied Lena, saying that last sentence in a whisper.

Will could almost feel the 'I told you so' coming up and out of his Kirjava's mouth, she knew that this would happen. He tried his best to ignore her, but found it hard. Why didn't he see this coming? It was natural for a caring person such as Lena to take pity on a person like him. He sighed and looked at his girlfriend.

"Lena…Don't. Please. Just remember, time has passed. I'm not a helpless 12 year old anymore," stated Will.

"That's not what I meant. I…Oh never mind, forget I brought it up…," responded Lena, turning towards the kitchen, knocking on a light switch on her way.

Will followed her. Not sure of what to say. Lena wasn't mad, but for some reason he felt like saying something, something that would make everything right. Something that would ease the sudden tension between her and himself, even though that tension was not caused by anything that he'd done to her, but by something that had happened years and years ago and mostly in other worlds.

"Uh…tea? I think what Mary made earlier is still warm…" suggested Will unsure.

"Uh…fine, sure," replied Lena, yawning.

Will walked over to the stove where the kettle sat. Once there Kirjava jumped up on the counter next to him.

"Will…," started his daemon.

"Stop. Will yah?" said Will with a sigh.

His eyes widened when he noticed that he was talking out loud to his daemon, with someone else in the room.

"What?" questioned Lena, spinning towards him.

"Nothing. Just…nothing," responded Will, tense and refusing to look at his girlfriend.

She's probably thinking I'm crazy, thought Will. He gripped the edge of the counter so hard that his knuckles turned white. This was not going well.

"I told you this would happen…," began his daemon.

_I know! Just shut it Kirjava. Please… I don't need this right now. You should know that,_ said Will in his head.

"Will?" suddenly spoke Lena.

"What?" replied Will, his anger and annoyance towards his daemon, seeping into his voice.

"I-Uh…Are you...Are you-were you speaking to your…uh…daemon?" hesitantly asked Lena.

Feeling the sudden and strong agitation from Kirjava, Will let go of the counter and tried to relax his tense muscles. Closing his eyes and taking a deep breath, he slowly nodded. It was weird emitting that to someone. Ever since he came back into this world, it had been only Mary that had known the truth, that he had a daemon outside of his body. And now he was telling his girlfriend that he had just spoken to her. Will never thought he would be doing that.

He heard Lena shuffling her feet, probably unsure as to what to do next. Will felt the same way. His already knotted stomach was twisting into even more elaborate and complicated knots that he doubted even most sailors knew. His hands were starting to shake again as fatigue weighed heavily on his shoulders. He still didn't look at his girlfriend, not wanting to see the expression on her face and in her deep brown eyes, or have her see the expression on his.

Taking another deep breath, Will went back to the kettle, trying desperately to control his once again trembling hands. Pulling out two mugs, he shakily poured the water, before realizing that the water was cold, ice cold. That was it, that was little thing was the last straw. Will couldn't take it anymore. Too many things were going wrong. Things were just too much. He let out a roar of frustration and threw the kettle into the sink. Lena gave a startled cry as his Kirjava begged him to calm down.

"I-I can't! I-I just…can't…" Will stuttered, sinking to the floor.

With his back resting against the stove, he buried his face in his knees and let a few stray tears escape his eyes. Why? Why did this have to happen? thought Will. Why did Philip Pullman have to write those books? Why did my life have to be turned upside down again? Why? Why? Why?

"Will, calm down. It'll all be alright," comforted his daemon while rubbing against his legs and purring nervously.

_You say that, Kirjava…,_ thought Will. "But how do you know?"

"I don't know. I just hope," replied Kirjava.

_Well, I don't think I have any hope left. There's just too much that's gone wrong for me to hope anymore._

"Will?" began Lena, crouching down beside him. "You okay?"

"Does it look like him okay, Lena?" said Will face still submerged in his knees.

"No…But…Will…You remember the when my Gran died. You were with me when I broke down in tears. Remember?"

Will nodded, still not wanting to look at her.

"And you said that-that when the universe seems to be against you that…that it isn't. And that you just have to move on, however hard it may be. Because when something seems bad, that means there's good on the other side. And that you just have to keep on moving to the other side to get the good. Remember that, Will? Well, right now you need to move on, keep on pushing threw that muck to get to the other side, to get to the good. Come on, Will. You can do it. I know you can," encouraged Lena, wrapping her arm around him.

The memory of the day Lena's Gran died popped up in Will's mind. He remembered that day well. They had only been dating for a couple months and Lena had called him to come over. Her voice was stressed and he was worried. When he got there she had told him in a shaky voice that her beloved Gran had just died of a heart attack. She then suddenly broke down in tears. Waterfalls were running out of her chocolate brown eyes and Will hated to see her like that. That was when he had taken Lena in his arms and said the advice that Mary had given him a few months after they had come back, right after his mom died. And now he was hearing that advice for the second time, from the very person he gave it to.

Will lifted his head and looked at his girlfriend, her almost always caring brown eyes staring back at him.

"Will…," began Lena, running a hand through his hair. "I know you've been through worse. Losing both your parents and a love, you should be able to handle this. Just remember that those books are just stupid pieces of paper. They may contain the truth, but the world will always think of them as creative fiction. Just…don't be like this. I hate to see you like this."

Her hand had ended up underneath his chin; her thumb softly and gently stroking his cheek. There was a sad smile on her face as her deep brown eyes glowed with love and compassion. A wave of love for her washed through Will again. She wasn't Lyra, but he loved her all the same. He reached up and grasped her hand.

"You're right. I don't know why I'm letting those books get to me," muttered Will, looking down at Lena's hand in his.

"It's alright Will. You're tired both physically and emotionally. And have been through so much. It's understandable," responded Lena. "Just tell me one thing…"

"What?" questioned Will, looking aback up at his girlfriend.

"Tell, me. What…is my daemon?"

Will smiled. It was such a random question, and yet it seemed to make sense. Of course she would wonder what her daemon was. A daemon is an insight to a person's personality, it tells someone what they're really like. She probably was itching to ask that question ever since she found out the truth.

"A little sparrow. Sweet, kind, and neat, with feathers as brown as your eyes," stated Will.

"Oh…" replied Lena, sounding surprised but as that faded the corners of her mouth pulled up into a smile. "I guess that's me…"

"Yep, and I wouldn't change that for the world," lovingly said Will.


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

They sat there, on the cool, white tiled floor of Will's kitchen, arm in arm, enjoying each other's company and barely saying a word. They did this until Mary came in an hour or two later, groggily shuffling her feet and looking like she didn't sleep a wink.

"I see you two are up," spoke Mary, yawning.

"Yeah," quietly replied Lena.

"Couldn't sleep," chimed in Will hoarsely. He was feeling much better after Lena had talked to him, like most of the emotions that those books caused had been vacuumed away. There was still some uneasiness that plagued his stomach, but having Lena next to him, leaning on his shoulder, he was able to not be as affected by it. Kirjava next to him as well, laying on the floor staring up at Mary with worry.

"I can see that," said Mary trying to smile, but it seemed as if she incapable of smiling at the moment.

There was silence throughout the kitchen as Mary went to the coffee and slowly poured herself a cup. She took a sip, made a grimace for the coffee was cold, and set the mug back down on the counter. She let out a long and tired sigh, before she broke the silence.

"I've thought about it...about Lena knowing the truth, and…now that I see you two there, it's obvious that you love each other and…what I'm trying to say is that I'm fine with her knowing the truth. It seems now seems like it was the right thing to do, the right thing for Will."

Mary spoke like Will and Lena weren't even in the room, like she was voicing aloud her thought instead of actually talking to one of them. Will looked up at his adopted parent and saw the stress and fatigue that plagued her. Her skin was pale, bags had started to form under her eyes and her minor winkles were suddenly carved deeper as if ten years had passed in the last few hours. Will let go of his girlfriend and got up to face Mary.

"Thank you, Mary," he said softly, placing his hand on her shoulder, trying to comfort her.

Mary nodded and tried to smile again, but just as before her attempt failed. Kirjava was up on the counter now, watching Mary with her big cat eyes. Then suddenly she went up to Mary's hand a licked it gently. Will gasped silently as his daemon touched another human, but he knew why she was doing this. Like him, she didn't like to see Mary so troubled. They wanted to comfort her like she comforted them all those years.

"So….what are we going to do next?" questioned Lena, getting up off the floor.

Will took his hand off Mary's shoulder and Kirjava stopped licking Mary's hand as they both looked over at Lena. She was right. What _were_ they going to do next? They couldn't go back to the way things were. Too much had happened.

"I don't know," answered Mary with a sigh as stepped away from the counter and began pacing the room, sounding and looking much better after Will and Kirjava comforted her. "There's nothing much we can do. The books are already out there."

"You're right. But the good side is that most people would probably think the books are just fiction, and can't be real. I mean that's why _I_ thought at first," commented Lena.

"_Most_ people. I bet you anything that there'll be crazies out there that'll think that there really is a Will Parry and a Mary Malone. And maybe a journalist finds something in records or in the news and find out there really is a Mary Malone and Will Parry, and then she'll start to ask questions, and-"

"Stop!" Will cut off his daemon before she could say anything else. Will didn't think he could handle more of it. He found that he was breathing fast and his hands were threatening to start shaking again. That little bit of uneasiness in his stomach was growing.

"Sorry," murmured Kirjava, realizing that she had caused her human discomfort.

"Oh, Will," sighed Mary, stopping her pacing. "Kirjava is right. There might be some people out there that will investigate. Either it happens by chance or by intention, it still could happen. I mean Lena figured it all out. Others could too. We need to do something about this."

"What? What are we going do Mary? Change our names and flee the country?" Will suddenly outburst.

He didn't know where that had come from, that frustration, that anger, that sorrow, that hopeless feeling. He guessed that it had been inside of him ever since the question as to what they were going to do first came up on the phone with Mary, when his mind wondered if he was ever going to go to the Botanic Garden again. Will didn't know what would happen and that scared him. Suddenly it was if Lena hadn't said anything. He was just as confused and unstable as before.

"Why not? It would help, wouldn't it? They're looking for a Will Parry and Mary Malone that live in Oxford right? At least we should move out of Oxford. To London, maybe. And if that doesn't work, to the US or another country," replied Mary desperately, pacing the floor again.

"Hold on!" exclaimed Lena before Will could say anything in response. "Nothing has happened yet. We don't even know if the books will become popular enough for this to happen. So just calm down…everyone."

Silence followed Lena's words, and chill of the kitchen started to creep up to all of them. Will heart was pounding and his hands had turned back into their normal shaking selves. He felt powerless and hopeless, just like when he returned to this world and it seemed that he and Mary were going to land in jail. Like there was another power that was out to get them, but this time instead of the law, it those books, those three paper books and what they could cause. Kirjava was still on the counter, watching the events unfold while trying to calm Will down once more. But Will ignored her, he was too focused on the emotions that were rushing through him like a hurricane.

"It's going to become popular, Lena," quietly said Mary, breaking the silence. "Those books are going to be bestsellers. I knew it when I looked them up online at my house when Will first called me. The search found them immediately because critics and readers apparently either loved the books or were slamming them because of the religious references. Most were raving that this series is going to become a classic story of quote, 'fantasy, wonder, adventure, love, and hope.' We have to do something, Lena. We can't just sand aside and let the world find out the truth."

"And what's wrong with the truth, Mary? What's wrong with knowing?" pressed Lena.

"Because…Because…You've read the books right? You know what happened. Now just imagine you were in Will's or my shoes. Just imagine seeing all those things and knowing when you came back you couldn't tell anyone or have people think you're crazy. And imagine after years of being in the shadows, people finding out the truth. Just think about all the chaos that will follow, and the feeling of being in the spotlight after spending so many years trying to stay out of it. After you imagine that, you see why we have to continue to stay in the shadows. The media is a crazed power hungry beast that will tear us apart. And if you can't put yourself in our shoes, then you have no right to say what we should do because you don't know anything," answered Mary.

That left Lena at a loss for words. Will looked at his girlfriend. She seemed shocked into silence. He didn't know what to do. Mary was right, but didn't want to believe it. He didn't want to accept the fact that he might have to move, leaving everything behind. He's mother's grave, his degree, his second love and most importantly the Botanic Garden. The future was uncertain and it frightened not only Will, but everyone.

As the silence lengthened, Will's thoughts suddenly began to wonder back to that one question that had plagued his mind ever since he finished reading the books. How? How did Philip Pullman know all those truths that filled his books? How?

"How?" spoke Will, the question bursting out of his mouth.

"What?" asked Mary, looking away from Lena and over to Will.

"How did Philip Pullman know all that he did? How did he know about everything that happened when he wasn't even there?"

More silence as the three people turned that question over and over in their mind.

"Does it matter?" Kirjava suddenly interjected. "He wrote it down and published it. We can't do anything about it expect to prepare for the future."

"Come on, Kirjava. I know you're curious too," whispered Will, petting his daemon's head.

He noticed that his hands had stopped shaking. A strange calm had washed over him after voicing aloud that question that was surely on everyone's mind. He knew he was still uneasy about what was going to happen next, but that question had put that on the back burner. He felt if he could find the answer to the question he could find the answer for the future.

"You're right Will, how did he know?" said Lena softly, more to herself then to Will.

"But Kirjava's right. We need to find something to do. We need to think logically," chimed in Mary.

"What if…" began Will, an idea suddenly popping in his head. "…what if what we do is find out the answer to that question. Do what Lyra would've done. Go up to Philip Pullman himself and ask him. Then we can move on and never be plagued by that question ever again. What'd think?"


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer: I own nothing….*sigh*

"Will, that's crazy," commented Mary. "What would we say? What would we do? We don't even know who this Philip Pullman is or where he lives."

"Mary's right. There are too many things that could go wrong, too many variables. And like I said before, it doesn't matter. We have to plan for the future, not go and try to satisfy our curiosity," whispered Kirjava, unease coming off her like fog off a bay.

But Will knew that she knew that was not true. It did matter. She just said that because she was frightened of what would happen, frightened of the unknown. But finding the truth was the only way he, and possibly Mary, could move ahead. Otherwise that question would follow them all their life like a guilty deed, eating away at their minds making it impossible to be anything remotely close to happy. It would always be there, reminding them of their curiosity that they refused to satisfy. Will didn't want that. It was already hard enough to not think of Lyra without that question attached to her name.

Will looked down at his daemon and she returned his gaze, her big cat eyes filled with uncertainty. The rolls were suddenly switched for it was now Will that was trying to calm his daemon by petting her softly, instead of the other way around. For some reason he felt strangely confident about the whole thing, that if they found the answer to that question, everything was going to be alright. Kirjava purred nervously in response, as Lena spoke up.

"Like you said Will that is what Lyra would've done. Or at least what I think she would do. I don't pretend to know her, and I know I never will, but I have a feeling that she would go up to Philip Pullman and find the answer to that question. But then again, like I said, I don't know her. So I'm not sure if that's correct or not…" She started with a confident voice that declined and ended in a quiet murmur.

She was trying but it seemed that the more she thought about it, the more it seemed less viable and important. She was doubting herself, because she was right, thought Will. She didn't know Lyra and didn't know what Lyra would've done if she was here. But Lena was still trying, trying to stand up for Will by agreeing with him, and it warmed Will's heart. He looked back up at his girlfriend and spoke his reply.

"No, you're right, Lena. Lyra would've done or at least proposed this _way_ before now. And…and…" His voice was cracking. He hadn't spoken about Lyra to anyone besides Mary, and even though it had been a while since he cried about her, that still didn't stop the wave of emotions that were now washing through him. He took a deep breath, feeling Kirjava's and Mary's worried eyes on him, and continued. "And I think that we should do it. We should go up to Philip Pullman and find the answer to the question that I know we all have been wondering about."

There was silence that followed Will's words, silence that seemed to be filled with all the words in the world, with all the emotions, with all the unrest without a sound. During that silence Mary paced the floor, her footsteps echoing through the white and fairly barren kitchen. Lena fiddled with her fingers, unsure as to what to do next. Kirjava continued to purr nervously, and Will absentmindedly petted her, wondering what was going to be said in response to his words. He didn't have to wait long, for shortly after, someone finally spoke.

"You're right. As much as I hate to emit it, you're right Will. We need to answer that question, if we ever want peace….but how?" said Mary, stopping her pacing on the last words and looking up at Will.

"We could look up the Philip Pullman's bio on the internet. We might have to a little digging, but I bet we can find his address. The books came out last month, so there hasn't been enough time for them to get that popular, so there would be no reason for Philip Pullman to hide information because of fans and reporters," commented Lena.

"But what would we say? I mean we can't just go up to his door and ask how he knew the truth, could we?" questioned Mary, turning to Lena.

"We could come up with some cover story," replied Lena.

"And what would that be?"

"Reporters," Will suddenly blurt out.

He had no idea where that answer had come from, but the more Will thought about it, the more it seemed to make perfect sense.

"'Reporters'?" repeated Mary, turning back to Will.

"We could pose as reporters. Yah, that way we can ask all the questions we want, without it seeming suspicious or creepy. Of course we'd have to refrain from letting it slip that his books contain the truth, but that'll be easy," said Will, mood brightening with excitement of the plausibility of his plan.

"That's brilliant, Will! That could totally work," commented Mary, a slight grin on her face.

Will beamed. Lena smiled. But Kirjava was still uneasy.

"But how are we going to do _that_? He'll ask for an ID, which we don't have…and…and…other things could go wrong too," stammered Kirjava, trying to find a believable reason for not going along with Will's plan.

It wasn't the fact that she didn't want to find the answer to the question that plagued them both, noted Will. It was the fact that she was just uncomfortable with the whole situation, worried about what could happen, and possibly even a little weary of finding out the answer. In a way Will knew that she reflected what part of him really thought about the whole plan, but he still wanted to go along with it. To him, finding the answer was worth all the risk.

"Oh, that'll be easy. I've gotten by worse without a real ID before," replied Mary.

In the corner of Will's eye, he could see Lena's expression of confusion at Mary's seemingly sudden remark. But then after awhile, just like all the times before, she realized that Kirjava had just spoken and Mary was responding to what she said, and the confusion was wiped off.

"Oh! Just like you did to get to the window on Sunderland Avenue. You made a fake an ID with your colleague's…I think it was something Payne's old library card," spoke Lena.

You could tell on her face, that the moment those words came out of her mouth, Lena knew she had made a mistake. Mary, who was still facing Will, tensed up at Lena's comment. Those were details that even Will didn't know about, until he read the books. But having Will know was one thing, but his girlfriend? Will could tell that those thoughts and more were running through Mary's head by the sense of tension in the air. Even Will, who told Lena the truth, was still a little uneasy about her knowing the little details of his thought and actions that were written in the books. But Mary, who was at first against telling _anyone_ the truth, was obviously a lot more on edge about the whole situation. The thoughts written in the books were more than private, more than similar to a diary entry. They were something that no one else heard if you didn't tell them, something that was supposed to be shared with people close to you, people that you knew and trusted. Will had a feeling that he possibly would've told Lena about them in the future, but he also had a feeling that Mary would've never done that. He could tell that what Lena had just said, was something that was a little, if not a lot, disturbing and awkward to Mary.

"Oh, Mary…I-I'm so sorry…I-I didn't know what I was thinking…I-I-I-" stuttered Lena, trying to find the right words to decrease the tension.

"Lena, please," began Will, cutting her off and holding up his hand to say stop. "You'll only make it worse."

She nodded in response and looked down at the floor, her cheeks like bright cherries. All that time Mary had said nothing. She was just standing there frozen with her muscles tense as a diversity of emotions ran across her face.

"Mary?" said Will, worry seeping into his voice.

"I'm fine Will. It's-It's just….," began Mary, reaching up and rubbing the heels of her hands into her eyes as if to wipe way the unease. "It's those damn books. Those damn impossible books. If only…Oh God…" Mary ran her hands through her hair, and looked back up at Will. "Again it that question turns up. That stupid question of how he could've known."

"All the more reason to find the answer to that question," stated Will.

It was hard to see Mary, so tired and stressed. The only time he had once before seen her like this, was when they had first came back. They were sorting out all the legal problems, and in the middle of that process, there was a period when the future looked bleak. Mary looked like she did now, only now it was slightly worse. Now there was more than stress and fatigue plaguing her, there were the emotions that only a few hours ago Will was going through. Will knew had to say something.

"Things will work out. That always seems to happen for us," began Will, placing his hand on Mary's shoulder. "We just need to get through them. Like we always do. And finding the answer to that question will help. I just know it will."

Mary turned to Will and gazed at him with her tired eyes. Will gave a comforting smile in return.

"You're right Will. We just have to move on," Mary said with a sigh. "My, how the rolls have been switched…"

Will smirked and gave a small laugh in response, as he took his hand off of Mary's shoulder. "Yah, I guess you're right."

Mary smiled, eyes twinkling, and went off to remake the tea.

"So…" started Lena, walking up to Will's side.

Taking his eyes of Mary, Will turned towards his girlfriend, still smiling.

"No harm done?" questioned Lena, a slight worried tone in her voice.

Will shook his head no. Lena will be caring to the end, thought Will. Not that he minded that. "I guess we should start looking up stuff about this Philip Pullman, eh?"


	12. Chapter 12

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: I wanted to make the interview with Philip Pullman as close as to the real Philip Pullman as possible. But after researching him, I found out (well, I kind of already knew) that he wrote other books _before_ His Dark Materials, the Sally Lockhart series for example, and he was also a teacher before the Sally Lockhart series. So, because of those facts, I'm making some changes in the timeline of Philip Pullman's life, for plot purposes. I will instead have it so that His Dark Materials is his first series, instead of the Sally Lockhart series. It would make a lot more sense, and make it so that Philip Pullman is not a really well known author yet. (Plus, all three books in His Dark Materials didn't come out all at once, like I said in the story. So it's not like I haven't changed the truth before. I just thought I'd tell you about so you guys don't hound me on it.) Oh, and Philip Pullman's house is not his real house, just in case you get the crazy idea that it is.

While Mary had made tea, Will and Lena had gone on Will's computer to look up Philip Pullman. There wasn't much on him; it was really his books that were making a big splash. But they did find out that he used to be a teacher before the books came out, and that he was married and had two grown kids with grandkids. They also found out that he lived there in Oxford. After they figured that out, it was only a matter of looking him up in the city register and they had an address. Soon after, Mary faked a journalist's ID with her old library card. Then they grabbed a tape recorder and a couple notepads to record the 'interview', and set off to Philip Pullman's house in Mary's car.

Now they were there. The house was fairly old. Weathered bricks stood, making up its walls and the chimney that poked out of the roof like a ground hog peering out of its hole. A big, elderly tree stood in front, framing and guarding the house, while bushes squatted next to the outside walls like green bull frogs. The driveway and the walkway to the front door were cracked and beaten from the years of lying outdoors, but still useable. And it was on that walkway that Lena, Mary, Will, and Kirjava strolled on, headed toward the front door of Philip Pullman's house.

Will was nervous, to say the least. He was trying hard to control his rapid breathing, but he could do little about his speedy heartbeat. His hands were clenched tight to steady them while his daemon walked close next to him, not bothering to calm Will down for she was even more uneasy about the whole situation than her human. He had no idea why he was so nervous. He was doing what he planned, what he thought was the right thing to do at the moment, then why was anxious right when it was time to implement his plan? But then it suddenly came to him. It was simple fact that he was about to meet the man that had unintentionally changed his life. And he wasn't the only one that was nervous. He could tell in Mary's stride and set jaw that she was also on edge. In fact Lena seemed to be the only one that didn't seem effected by the situation that they were currently putting themselves in.

Will looked over at his girlfriend. She was standing tall, getting ready to put a smile on her face when Philip Pullman opened the door. She was steeling herself for the 'interview' but didn't seem a bit unease about it. She suddenly reminded Will of Lyra. It was possible that Lena was feeling tense, but it wasn't shown on her face. Just then, Will knew what he should be doing. He should act like Lyra, for they were doing what she would've done, why shouldn't he present himself in the same fashion?

Ignoring the unease coming off Kirjava, Will straightened his stance, took a deep breath, and looked straight ahead as Mary rang the doorbell. He could feel Lena take hold of his hand, as the ringing doorbell echoed throughout the old house. Will squeezed her hand and she did in return, as footsteps made its way to the door. Then the door opened.

But instead of Philip Pullman, the face that appeared was one of an older woman. For a second Will thought that they had gotten the wrong house, but an additional second later, another person came up behind the older woman. He was an older man that could only be Philip Pullman. The woman must be his wife, thought Will, letting out a sigh of relief.

"Hello. I'm here for Mr. Pullman," said Mary cheerfully, totally masking her nervousness from earlier.

"I'm Mr. Pullman," replied the older man, brow wrinkling in confusion.

"Oh, nice to meet you, sir. I'm Mary Smith from _The Guardian_," stated Mary, flashing her fake ID and then quickly pocketing it.

"Why are you here, Ms. Smith?"

"Didn't you get the call?"

"No…"

"Oh, something must've been messed up in communication with my secretary. She's a temp. My normal secretary is off on her honeymoon. Anyway, I'm here to interview you about your new book series, His Dark Materials. It's making quiet a splash, you know, and my editors have been screaming for an interview with the author ever since it came out."

"An interview, eh? Well, I best be getting used to this kind of stuff. My publisher is telling me that my series is likely to become a bestseller."

"That it is, Mr. Pullman. And, if you don't mind, we'd like to step in and then we can find a quiet place to chat. Oh, by the way," began Mary pointing back towards Will and Lena behind her. "That's Will Jones and Lena Tyler. Will is my intern, and Lena someone else's intern but simply insisted that she'd come along. Now if you don't mind, I liked to get this interview underway so I can get this in my editors' offices by tomorrow."

"Oh, of course," said Philip Pullman while he and his wife stepped aside to let Mary, Will and Lena in.

The inside of the house seemed as old as the outside. The floor was worn and creaked under their weight, while recently painted walls stood aside, carrying the load of an assortment of family pictures. The smell of dust was everywhere even though the house looked fairly clean. Philip Pullman led the way to living room, saying that it was a quiet as any other room in the house, as he sent his wife away to get some refreshments. There was still butterflies flying around in Will's stomach, but other than that he was fine. He was still clutching Lena's hand while Kirjava keep close on his heels, her unease increasing with every step.

While they walked through the elderly house, an idea popped into Will's head. He immediately put his thoughts into action. Taking the time to focus his eyes, using the technique that Mary taught him, Will looked at Philip Pullman's daemon. Immediately, a tawny owl appeared on the author's shoulder. It was fairly small and cute with amber, brown and white feathers. What did that say about his personality? Will wondered. But before he could think anymore on the matter, they stepped into the living room.

Full bookshelves lined two walls, while windows, the fireplace, and a clunky TV sat against the other two. A grubby couch was planted in the center of the room, facing the brick fireplace and TV. Two armchairs chairs stood next to the couch, as if guarding an ancient treasure. But other than the wooden coffee table and standing lamp, the only other thing the in the room was the worn wooden floor.

"You're welcome to sit down on the couch or chairs," offered Philip Pullman, motioning towards the furniture. "Jude, my wife, should be here in a moment with some drinks."

"Thank you, Mr. Pullman for taking on an unplanned interview," said Mary, with her fake smile, as she sat down on one of the chairs. "And I do have to say, you have a very charming house."

"Thank you, Ms. Smith. And it's no problem. I really didn't have much planned for today. It's not until next week that I go on my book signing tour," replied Philip Pullman with a genuine smile. "So I'm basically just waiting for that. I'm a teacher, but I'm currently on leave and-"

"Please, Mr. Pullman. You can tell us all about that during the interview," interrupted Mary.

"Oh, yes of course. Um…I'm going to see if Jude needs any help." And with that, Philip Pullman walked out of the room.

"Well, it worked," commented Lena leading Will over to the couch and sitting down on it.

"Yeah…" responded Will, taking a seat next to his girlfriend.

"I still think this is a bad idea. There are simply so many things that could go wrong…" grumbled Kirjava, climbing up on the couch. She then curled up close to Will, her breathing fast and on attitude on edge.

Will began to pet her softly as his nerves inside twisted into knots.

"But we do things everyday that have a many chances of going wrong, yet we still do them," whispered Will, reassuring not only his daemon, but himself.

He knew he was doing the right thing, but he still couldn't ease his churning stomach and coiling nerves. Kirjava was right, but he refused to believe it. He had to do this. He just simply had to talk to Philip Pullman. He had to be strong.

Lena squeezed Will's hand, and when Will turned towards her, she gave him a comforting smile while her chocolate brown eyes twinkled beautifully. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. _He could do this._

When he opened his eyes again Philip Pullman and his wife were strolling into the living room, trays in hand.

"I've made some tea. It's Earl Gray," spoke Jude as she set down the tray on the coffee table. The tray was filled with four teacups full of steaming, amber tea.

"Oh, I love Earl Gray," brightly said Lena. And with that she let go of Will's hand and grabbed a teacups.

"And we had some crackers in the cupboard. They might be a little stale, but it'll be fine with some cheese," stated Philip Pullman, setting down the tray full of cheese and crackers next to the tea.

"Thank you, very much," commented Mary, seizing a teacup.

Will watched Mary and Lena sip the hot tea, while the author sat down in the other chair and his wife left for the garden. He had no urge to take a teacup. He wasn't thirsty, and was sure that if he filled his stomach with anything, it was immediately bounce it back up his throat. So, he simply laid his hands on his lap and said, "I'm not hungry, thank you."

He could feel Kirjava eyes on Philip Pullman, watching him like he was going to jump up and kill them all. Will sighed and lightly placed his hand on his daemon's paw. After living years in a world where people couldn't see Kirjava, they had learned to communicate with each other without looking crazy from talking or petting something that's not there.

"So…," began Mary, breaking the brief silence and setting down her teacup. "I guess we shall start our interview."


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Author's note: If you haven't guessed already, the answers by Philip Pullman are all made up. There's some hit of truth in them, but they are mostly what I would've thought he would say. I have no clue to his personality, so my answers might be completely different than what he would actually say. What I've written is for the progression of the plot, not for complete accuracy.

"So, tell me Mr. Pullman, is this series your first?" questioned Mary.

Only a moment ago she had placed the tape recorder on the coffee table. It was old and clunky, but it still worked. She had pressed the 'record' button before she had started.

"Yes, it is. I mean I've written some children's plays and books, while teaching. But I've never really written anything longer than 10 pages before I wrote the series," calmly answered Philip Pullman.

Will heard Lena scribbling on the note pad next to him, pretending to take notes while her brown eyes focused on the author. He knew he should be pretending to take notes too to prove to Phillip Pullman that they really were journalists, but he didn't think he could do anything without his hands beginning to shake. Plus, the tape recorder would record everything they would need to know. Kirjava was trembling next to him, illustrating his inner feelings. He lightly petted her paw, butterflies angrily eating away at his stomach.

"Interesting, because the series' page count goes well over 10 pages. I think it's even a thousand or two pages long in total," commented Mary.

She looked calm and at ease, but Will could see in her eyes there was anxiety and fright behind her painted smile.

"Yes, I'm surprised that it only took me a year and a half to write it all," said Philip Pullman, leaning back in his chair to get comfortable.

"Wow," said Mary in mock enthusiasm. "That's quite an achievement. Most people only write _one_ book in that amount of time, and most of them are not as nearly as long as one of your books. How could you've possible done all that writing with a fulltime job?"

"Writing during every available moment, including very late into the night. It drove my wife crazy, but I just couldn't stop. It was like every time I started typing (and I never had trouble starting) a leak broke out in my head and words started to flow nonstop. Sometimes it was like my hands had minds of their own. There were also times that it seemed like it wouldn't stop at all. But after awhile, I learned to control myself and only write a few pages at a time."

"Interesting…" murmured Mary, more to herself than to anyone else.

It was interesting, thought Will. He hadn't met many writers, and had barely even written himself, but he would think that even a professional writer would get writer's block sometime while writing a book, let alone three. There was something strange about the fact that Philip Pullman had written His Dark Materials without once getting writer's block.

"Mr. Pullman…was there character you that particularly liked?" asked Mary after a few seconds of silence.

What was Mary doing? thought Will. Were they here to talk about the how he knew so much of the truth? Not about silly little nonsense questions. He cleared his throat, and tried to get Mary's attention, but she was too focused on Philip Pullman's answer.

"I would have to say Will Parry," said the author, momentarily glancing over at Will, for the coincidence of the name. But Will still suddenly felt a knot in this throat appear, as Philip Pullman continued. "He is such a sad character and goes through so much, that it's kind of hard not to want to reach out to him. He is also very strong and complicated, which also makes him very appealing. At least to me."

Will could now feel Lena's and Kirjava's eyes on him, as he began to look down at the worn wooden floor. The knot in his throat was growing and he now felt it hard to breathe, and the butterflies in his stomach making him nauseas didn't help. Will temporarily felt Mary's worry and concern filled gaze upon him, before she turned back to Philip Pullman to ask another question.

"Will…Its okay…He's only….Will…" mumbled Kirjava, not sure what words to say; only that she had to say something.

Will then felt Lena's soft and warm hand begin to gently rub his back, trying, like his daemon, to calm him down.

"Um…Is he okay?" Philip Pullman asked Mary.

"No…He's had a really bad flu. I don't think he's fully recovered. Will, how about you go to the restroom or get some fresh air. We won't talk about anything important while you're gone, don't worry," responded Mary, a hint of worry and concern in her fake cheerful voice.

"The restroom is down the hall and the first door to your left," said the author, pointing to the doorway behind him.

"Want me to go with you?" whispered Lena in Will's ear.

He shook his head, feeling as if his voice box was broken. He got up, and with his daemon at his heels, they walked out of the living room. He walked like a zombie down the hall, not sure as to what to think. When he got to restroom, he turned the faucet on and splashed some water on his face, trying to clear his foggy mind. His hands were trembling again, and when he looked in the mirror he saw that his face was once again drained of all color. What had happened? Why did he lose it all of a sudden? But as he was asking himself those questions, the answers popped up in his head. Philip Pullman had mentioned him, the book character, as a young boy, his past self. Was he going to break down every time he heard someone mention his book character self? Will gripped the sink, until his knuckles grew white.

"I told you, Will. This whole thing is dangerous," said Kirjava jumping up on the closed toilet seat next to him. "We should be back at our flat figuring out what do in the future. Not here in this situation."

"Shut up, Kirjava," commanded Will simply, and she did. He didn't want to hear his daemon patronizing him at the moment.

Will took a deep breath and ran his fingers down his face and through his hair. He had to get back out there. Lena and Mary were probably worried and would come looking for him if he didn't come back soon. That would make Philip Pullman curious and possible worried too. And he didn't want the author that unintentionally changed his life to ask any questions. That would be bad. Taking another breath to sooth his shaking hands, he opened the door and headed back to the living room, Kirjava quietly following behind.

When he stepped back into the room, the three looked up at him. Lena with her big, brown, loving eyes, Mary with her motherly expression masked by the pretend journalist self, and Philip Pullman with a caring look hiding a hint of curiosity. Will steeled himself and sat back down on the couch.

"You alright Will?" whispered his girlfriend as his daemon curled up next to him.

Will nodded, and looked down at his twittering thumbs. For some reason, I didn't want to make eye contact with anyone. So his eyes wondered to the coffee table. They seemed to have eaten some of the crackers and cheese, for there was nothing left on the tray expect crumbs. Not that Will cared, he wasn't hungry.

"Well, then. Now that Will's feeling better, I think we shall continue," said Mary, pressing the recording button the tape recording again (having turned it off after Will left). She settled back in her chair and resumed the interview. "So, Mr. Pullman, I think we might as well get to the meat of this thing. How did you ever come up with the original idea for His Dark Materials?"

"A dream," stated Philip Pullman after a few seconds of staring off and thinking. "I think it all started with a dream."

"What was that dream about?" urged Mary, obviously eager to get some real information.

"Well…I think I was in my bedroom, or maybe some other room or it could've been a cave for all I remember. Anyway, I was doing whatever I was doing, and then suddenly there was a light off in the distance. I had an urge to go and see what it was, so I did. When I got the source of the light, I saw that it was an angel, like the ones in the books. Have you read the books by the way, Ms. Smith?"

"Yes, I've read the books. Now please continue," answered Mary, sounding impatient.

"Yeah…anyway, it was an angel. Female. And she came up to me and said, 'Philip Pullman, you have been chosen.' 'Chosen, for what?' I asked. 'To tell a story.' And that was when the angel came up to me and placed her hand on my head. Information must have been flowing into my mind, because I kept seeing flashing images. Ones of a strong, blonde girl with a changing animal daemon, a golden compass that tells the truth, giant talking polar bears in an icy world, a powerful couple with a golden monkey and a snow leopard as daemons, a lost and troubled boy, a world with shadowy Specters, a blade that can cut anything, a dark matter scientist that goes on an amazing journey, a gathering army, a desperate struggle for what each side thought was good, the death of God, the world of the dead, the love between two young souls, their departure to their home, and many more that went too fast for me to catch.

"When the images had stopped, the angel took her hand away from my head and said, 'Make use of that information and write it down for the world to read. The truth must be known.' And then she turned to leave. 'But wait,' I cried. 'Why me? Why must the truth be known?' But all the angel said in reply was, 'Do good, Philip Pullman,' and she was gone. The next morning, I suddenly had an urge to write, and that's when I started the first book. The rest, I guess, is history."


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer: Me own no thing.

Silence followed Philip Pullman's words. Uncomfortable, tense silence that filled the room like dense fog. Will didn't know what to think. The author's words seem to have knocked him senseless. He just sat there, staring at the floor below him, his body and mind unsure how to respond. The only thing that seemed to be working was a broken record player in his head, repeating Philip Pullman's words over and over like the haunting dance music of the past. _…it all started with a dream…it was an angel. Female…'Make use of that information, and write it down for the world to read. The truth must be known.'_ It wasn't until Mary cleared her throat and broke the deathly silence, did that ghostly record player stop.

"Well…That's interesting…," muttered Mary.

Will jerked his head up as she spoke. Her voice was cracking and her eyes were intentionally avoiding Philip Pullman. Her face was pale, though it was obvious that she was trying to regain composure.

"Are you okay, Ms. Smith?" caringly asked the author leaning towards Mary.

Mary coughed and rubbed the heels of her hands against her face as if to wake herself up. Will watched Mary numbly. He knew he should be worried, or at least be wondering if he looked as pale as Mary, but he was suddenly too lost in his other thoughts. Mary's words had, in a way, woke him up, letting loose a flood of questions into his mind. _Why did the angel chose Philip Pullman? Why did she say that the truth must be known? Who was the angel?_ He was so focused on his own thoughts that he almost didn't hear what was said next.

"Yah, I fine. Just-just a bit tired. I might be coming down with Will's flu," commented Mary, taking her hands away from her face and looking back at Philip Pullman with her painted reporter smile back on. But the smile didn't reach her eyes.

"Are you sure you shouldn't be at home, resting?" questioned Philip Pullman with a hit of worry in his voice.

"Oh, it's not that bad. My immune system is fairly strong. But thanks for the concern."

"You welcome. So…are we done with the interview?"

"Um… I think so," began Mary, her smile faltering. She obviously hadn't planned this far. "Yes…Yes, we are done. I think I got everything I need," Mary finished on a confident note.

Mary motioned to pick up the tape recorder from the coffee table, but Lena stopped her.

"Wait! I have a question. Philip Pullman…"

"Yes?" said the author turning towards the woman he thought was an intern.

"Have you entertained the silly idea that what you've written down might be…true?" cautiously asked Lena.

Her words caused both Will and Mary to stare at her, snapping them out of their thoughts. What did she think she was doing? thought Will. Kirjava, who was curled up tight next to Will's leg was gazing at Lena, with the tiniest hint of hatred, but it was mostly confusion coming off her. Lena avoided everyone's eyes and focused on Philip Pullman, who was now voicing his answer.

"I would like to say that I haven't. But there are times very late at night when I can't sleep and I'm staring up at the ceiling that that silly little notion pops into my head. I know it's kind of foolish of me, but I sometime imagine that I would meet Will Parry, or Lrya Silvertongue, or Mary Malone, or any other of the many characters of the books. But I know they're not real. It's just a fictional story after all."

"I don't think it's silly at all. At least you know that it's a fictional story with fictional characters. There are nut-jobs out there that think that books like these tell the truth, you know," commented Lena, picking up on Mary's false cheery voice.

"Oh, yes. There are the freaks," responded Philip Pullman.

Will was puzzled. What exactly was his girlfriend trying to do? Prove that there are weirdoes out there that think books like Harry Potter and His Dark Materials are real? What was the point in all of this?

"She wants to make sure that Philip Pullman doesn't think that what he wrote down is true. She probably thinks that if he doesn't think it's true then the world won't either," quietly muttered Kirjava, pulling in closer to his human, her unease in abundance.

Will nodded slightly. His daemon was right. Lena was likely just trying to find out some more facts, right?

"Yes, freaks….Now I think we'd best be going. Thank you for your time, Mr. Pullman," said Mary, grabbing the tape recorder and turning it off. She then proceeded to stand up, wiping off the crumbs of the previously consumed crackers and cheese. "And thank you for the tea and snack," continued Mary, holding her hand out for Philip Pullman to shake.

"Pleasure's all mine, Ms. Smith," replied the author standing up himself and shaking Mary's hand. "And I hope that you and Will feel better."

"I hope so too," kindly responded Mary letting go of Philip Pullman's hand.

Lena then stood up as well and Will followed. As Lena shook the author's hand and thanked him, Will's mind again began to ponder the questions that appeared first when the author had told them of his dream. In fact Will was so lost in thought that he didn't notice at first that Philip Pullman was holding out his hand for him to shake.

"Will!" whispered Kirjava, snapping Will out of his thoughts.

He jerked his head and looked at the author that had changed his life. From up close he looked older than he first appeared to be. There were wrinkles around his eyes from years of smiling. His hair was thinning and his eyes shone with an almost Santa Claus-like caring and curiosity. Why did the angel chose him? thought Will.

Will, distracted, held out his left hand for Philip Pullman to shake, but upon realizing that it was the wrong hand, he quickly switched hands.

"I just noticed that you've got three fingers on you left hand," observed Philip Pullman, grasping Will's right hand and shaking it.

The anxiety and fear suddenly peaked in Kirjava as she jumped off the couch and her human's heartbeat went rapid.

"Are you sure you're okay? You're pale again," said Philip Pullman letting go of Will's hand.

Why was he reacting this way? thought Will. This surely isn't the first time someone mentioned his left hand, so why was he freaking out so much?

"Yah…I'm fine," murmured Will turning away from the author, the butterflies turning into sharks in his stomach.

Will needed to get away from Philip Pullman as soon as possible, for he knew the author was a bright person. Sooner or later he would make connections and start asking questions, and that wouldn't be good. There was also the added fact that couldn't stand the worried looks from not only Philip Pullman but from Lena and Mary as well. So, Will walked away from the group and headed towards the books that lined the walls of the room. His daemon followed, too nervous about the comment to say anything. He heard the other three chattered as he stared absent mindedly at the Pullmans collection of Charles Dickens' novels.

"Was there something I said?" Philip Pullman whispered to Lena and Mary.

"No. He's still probably sick, like I said before. Plus, there's the added anxiety of loss of the two fingers on his left hand," quietly replied Mary.

"What happened?"

"Petting zoo accident. Nasty. Not something he likes to talk about."

"Oh…"

Mary was telling him the official story. It was a story they had decided on years ago. Whenever someone asked about Will's left hand, they would give them the petting zoo story. Will had even given it to Lena when she first asked about his hand. It was just something that needed to be stated. If they didn't tell them a story, then people would get curious and that was never a good thing. It was best just to settle the matter upright.

"Anyway, like I said. We best be going. My editors will be expecting the story on their desks by tonight, and we can't waste any more time," stated Mary, taking the first step to leave.

"Wait, mind if I ask you a question first?" spoke Philip Pullman.

"No. Go ahead," replied Mary, stopping and turning back to the author.

"Who are you?"

"Pardon?"

"You really aren't journalists are you?"

"I don't know what you mean, Mr. Pullman."

Will turned back to watch Mary's and the author's conversation. Mary was struggling to keep her surprise hidden, he could tell in her voice. Worry was starting to creep up into Will's throat. What was Philip Pullman getting at? Did he make the connection? Did he figure out who they were?

"I'm not dumb, Ms. Smith. If that's even you real name," said Philip Pullman with a threatening tone of voice.

"I'm sorry but-but I really have no clue what you're talking about."

"There's something not right here that I just realized. I have an agent who handles all my press interviews and book signings and stuff like that. If you really were journalists for _The Guardian_ then you would've contacted my agent and she would've contacted me."

"I…I told you, Mr. Pullman. I..It was…my secretary. She probably screwed up and forgot to contact you and your agent," answered Mary as calmly as she could.

"But…It's just…" began Philip Pullman, trying to find his words. "There's just something wrong here. I know there is."

"And what might that be?"

"Something…there's just something…something that I can't quite grasp at the moment. I'm getting this strange sense of déjà vu for some reason…I-I-I just don't know."

Philip Pullman was becoming flustered and doubting himself. Not for the first time in his life, Will marveled at the Mary's extraordinary skill of lying, at making people believe something else, at making them doubt their words and actions. She really should act, thought Will, relaxing his muscles that he didn't even knew he tensed.

"Mr. Pullman, are you okay?"caringly asked Lena, reaching out to the author.

"Yes-yes. I'm fine. I just…Oh, bother. My mind must be going. Ah, the wonders of old age. Please, don't listen to me. I just…I don't know. I'm sorry for accusing you of something that clearly wasn't true. It was a stupid thing of me to do," responded Philip Pullman.

"Oh, don't mention it, Mr. Pullman," began Mary, letting out a sigh. "You're obviously tired. You might be coming down with the flu as well. But like I said. We must be going. I hope you feel better. And thank you again for your time." And for the second time took a step to leave.

"Wait," sharply said Philip Pullman.

"What is it, Mr. Pullman?" questioned Mary, sounding a little impatient as she turned back to the author for another time.

"Could I possibly…get a number to contact you with? Just in case I have…I don't know…anything more to say or questions as to when the interview will be published."

"Um…sure. Um…"

"Here, I'll give it to him, Mary," offered Lena.

As Lena spoke to Philip Pullman, Mary walked over to Will. He quickly turned back to the bookshelf. He didn't know why, but he didn't want Mary to know he was watching them.

"That was a close one," whispered Mary, coming up behind Will and lightly laying her hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah…" Will replied shakily, refusing to look at Mary.

"I was just…" began Mary. She paused as if deciding what the right thing to say was. "You're okay, right?"

Will nodded. He knew Mary was trying to help. She loved and cared for him. But he didn't want to talk to her. Philip Pullman wasn't the only one that was having the sense of déjà vu. Will felt that he and Mary had gone through this before, that history was repeating itself. He had a hard time opening up to Mary before, and that was happening again. For some reason he couldn't talk to Mary. Maybe it was because she cared too much, that she was too concerned for Will's comfort. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that he never really had a true relationship with his mother, because whenever she would become well enough for him to talk to her, she would become ill again. Or maybe it was his mind unconsciously telling him that Mary wasn't his mother, and that he shouldn't open up to her. But whatever it was, he just couldn't talk.

"Alright," said Mary, a hint of disappointment in her voice as she took her hand off Will's shoulder and walked back over to Philip Pullman and Lena.


	15. Chapter 15

Disclaimer: Yes, of course I own the rights to His Dark Materials. That's why I'm writing this as a fanfiction, instead of a real book or a screenplay. -----No, I don't really own the rights. Duh!

The car ride back to Will's flat was fairly silent, save the radio that was currently and softly playing the newest cliché boy band and the light hum of the car's engine. Mary was driving, with Lena in the passenger seat. Will was in the back, staring out the window and mind lost in thought. It had rained while they were interviewing Philip Pullman and now the streets had attained a mirror-like quality because of the rain water that coated them. The streetlights were on and the sun was reaching the horizon to go wake up the people in some far off country.

Oxford zoomed past, as lights reflected off the paved streets. There was something lonely about the night, thought Will. Something that always made him think of his past. Maybe it was the confining property of the darkness that made you feel like it was pressing down around you, and the limited beams of the streetlights that provided the only safety from the unknown of the darkness. Maybe it was because in most parts of town that was when the streets emptied of cars and people and left you feeling like you were the only person in the world. Loneliness. It was something, though he had a daemon now, that still plagued Will, especially at night.

_Who was Philip Pullman? Who was the man that was entrusted to tell the world about his past? And why did the truth needed to be known anyway?_ Will had been wrong. Finding the answer as to how Philip Pullman knew, didn't satisfy his curiosity, it only made it grow. It didn't seem fair. Hadn't he been through enough already? Hadn't he suffered more in his lifetime than most people? Why was this happening to him? He wanted to feel anger at the angel that had caused this all to happen, but he couldn't bring himself to do that. She had a reason for telling Philip Pullman, he only wished to know what that reason was though. But instead of anger though, he felt a sense of hopelessness, like he should just give up right now. He found himself thinking of Lyra. What she was doing at the moment? Was she handling the sudden appearance of His Dark Materials in her world? What would she do if she was here now? He needed her. He needed someone. The darkness was too suffocating.

"We have Lena, Will. She loves us and we love her. She's not Lyra, but isn't she enough?" quietly questioned Kirjava, curling up on Will's lap.

One love for another, pondered Will. It was true. He did love Lena; he was sure of that now. But Lyra was and will forever be his first love, and he will not forget her. Not in a million years. Will sighed. Why was he thinking about this anyway? He knew he wasn't going to see Lyra until he died, so why was he hopelessly thinking about her when he had other things to think about? There was Lena, and he should be happy that he had found someone else that he could love. So why in the world was he thinking about this?

"The books," he quietly blurted out.

It suddenly occurred to him. It was all because of those books. Like my Mary had said, they had made everything more complicated. Now it wasn't the question as to how Philip Pullman knew that was popping up in his mind, but the reasons why he had written the books. And there was also the question as to what they were going to do next. What _were_ they going to next? Will wondered. Will and Mary couldn't stay in Oxford. That would be too much of a risk. They probably would have to change their names as well. But what about college? And what about Mary's work? They couldn't just leave those things behind, could they?

Will groaned in frustration. This whole situation was so complicated and hopeless that he didn't want to think about it, yet he knew sooner or later he had to. Whether or not he liked it, things had and would change because of those books. He felt the fatigue settle on his shoulders again. The unease of the situation at Philip Pullman's house had begun to wear off, and weariness was starting to replace it. Thankfully the car had just pulled up to the building where Will had his flat. Maybe, now he could get some real rest.

When they got to the flat, Mary flung the keys on the counter and sighed.

"Now we got that stupid question answered, I'm going to see if can get some rest because I don't know about you guys but I'm exhausted," spoke Mary setting her purse down next to the keys.

"You're not the only one," said Will with a yawn. "I'll take the chair again."

""Kay," Mary sleepily said with a nod.

They both were about to set out to their respective sleeping areas, when Lena's cell phone began to ring. At first Will paid no attention to it, as Lena took the phone out of her pocket and answered it. It wasn't until she spoke next, did Will begin to worry.

"Oh, yes. Hold on," said Lena as she took the phone off her ear. "It's Philip Pullman!"

Mary and Will turned around to face Lena, shock written on both of their faces.

"Why is he calling?" questioned Will.

"You gave him you real number?" exclaimed Mary.

"He said he had another question. And what number was I supposed to give him, Mary?" replied Lena, holding her hand against the phone so the author couldn't hear their conversation.

"I don't know! The number to the pizza place? Any number besides yours!" urgently whispered Mary.

"Well, you didn't tell me that!"

"You should've-"

"Guys!" said Will, cutting off Mary. "Arguing won't get us anywhere. Now Lena, what question is Philip Pullman asking?"

His heart was pounding in his ears and the butterflies had returned to his stomach, but he didn't let his unease falter his words.

"Um…hold on," replied Lena taking her hand off her cell phone. "Mr. Pullman…yes…she wants to know what your question is…uh-hu…okay, I'll tell her, sir."

"So?" asked Will.

"He wants to know if he can meet with us again. He has more he wants to tell us," responded Lena, putting her hand back on the phone.

"Tell him we can't. He's already suspicious of us, and we don't want to heighten his curiosity," immediately stated Mary.

"What if it's something important? Something that we want to know? This could be our only chance in getting that answer," argued Lena.

"We can't take that risk, Lena. Unlike you, Will's and I's lives are in the balance."

"We can risk that balance one more time, can't we? We can do that for answers we might need, right?"

"We don't even know what those answers _are_."

"Well then I'll ask him," said Lena turning back to the phone. "Um…Ms. Smith wants to know what sort of things you want to tell us…yes, I'm afraid she doesn't want to waste her time if the information is not valuable…okay, thank you Mr. Pullman. I'll relay the info to her. He said," began Lena turning back to Mary, "that he'd rather tell you in person, but that it will not be a waste of your time."

What does he want to tell us that he doesn't want to voice over the phone? wondered Will. His nerves were growing and growing all throughout Lena's and Mary's conversation as more and more questions and exaggerated fantasies popped up in his head. His fatigue had vanished the moment Lena said Philip Pullman was on the phone, and Kirjava stood by his side, ears up, alert.

"So what are we going to do?" questioned Lena after a short silence. "Are we going to risk it?"

Mary briefly glanced at Will, as if to get his conformation for whatever she was going to say, then voiced her answer. "We might as well," she began with a sigh. "He's got your number and he might hound you until he tells us whatever he wants to tell us. If it gets too risky, we can just leave."

Lena nodded in agreement and went back to talk to author on her cell phone. "She said yes…"


	16. Chapter 16

Disclaimer: Yep, the real Philip Pullman called me the other day and asked if I wanted the rights to His Dark Materials. So I now have the rights!!...Yah, I wish. I don't own His Dark Materials. *sigh*

Philip Pullman met them in a small café about 5 minutes walk from his house. For some reason he didn't want to met them again in his home. He said something about his nosy wife, or the chance of being overheard. But to Will the author's abode seemed safer than a public café. By the way he way he showed them to his table, he made it seem like they were spies exchanging some confidential information. It was all painfully obvious that he was going to talk about something 'secret'. He was lucky that the only other people in the tiny café was a sleeping college student and a young male cashier who was too engrossed in his internet porn that he didn't pay an attention to them.

The sun completely set during their drive, leaving nothing but the still damp city and the streetlights. Few cars populated the roads and the wind was picking up. It made the trees sway eerily, like they were just waiting to grab some innocent passerby and fling them to their deaths.

"So…," began Philip Pullman as Lena, Mary, and Will, with Kirjava following, sat down at the author's table.

Originally, Mary wanted her to be the only one that came. She said it was more risky if they all went, but Lena refused to be left behind. Will initially didn't want to go, he didn't want the emotional stress of seeing the author again, but Kirjava, contrary to what she first expressed to the idea of meeting Philip Pullman, convinced him to go with her. So they all piled once again into the car to go meet the author of His Dark Materials.

"Um…you mentioned, Ms. Smith, that you've read my books," spoke Philip Pullman.

"Yes, and?" confirmed Mary.

The chairs creaked under everyone's weight. They seemed to made of termite damaged oak, the same wood that covered the floors and walls, made up the counter, and all of the chairs and the tables they were placed at. The place smelt of the past with the decaying wood and the dust collecting knick-knacks covering the walls. The café had a general feeling of an old, war-torn and cranky grandfather, in the way it seemed like it was once a famous place that everyone came to, but it slowly perished and became the sad space that it was now.

"And have you read them too, Ms. Tyler?" questioned the author, turning to Lena.

"Yes, of course."

"What about you, Will?"

Philip Pullman's grandfather-like eyes drilled a hole in Will's head. When the author had spoken his name, instead of the fake surname Mary had given him, it set chills up his spine. Will had no idea why the author did this, but it totally freaked him out. Will nodded as he clutched his daemon who was sitting on his lap under the table.

"Then you know about the characters in the books," stated Philip Pullman, turning to all of them.

"Of course. But what are you getting at Mr. Pullman. I do have a paper to write you know," irritably spoke Mary.

Philip Pullman simply shrugged off Mary's comment and went on like she had said nothing. "Therefore you are familiar with the character Will Parry."

Lena nodded thoughtfully, Mary crossed her arms and tried to look as if she had better places to be while secretly curious and worried, and Will sat frozen. His throat had closed up and his grip on his daemon had tightened to the point where it was starting to hurt the both of them. But Will didn't seem to notice, and Kirjava didn't bother with it either. There was sharks their stomachs and they were too focused and uneasy about Philip Pullman's words.

"Well your question, Ms. Tyler, got me thinking, wondering really, about the silly possibly that my books are true. And strangely enough, I thought of you Will," began the author, turning towards Will. "You remind me a lot of the Will Parry of the books. It's almost like you're an older version of Will Parry. I mean you have three fingers on your left hand, and you kind of look like how I'd picture him too. Plus…I don't know…there's something about you that reminds me of Will Parry. Weird, right?"

Philip Pullman's eyes were boring into Will again, like the author was searching for something that was strangely eluding him, something that could only be found in Will's face. Will's hands were shaking again and his heart beat was rapid. He was trying hard control his breathing so as not to give away his emotions, but it was already too late because his face had drained of color again.

"Yes, it is a strange coincidence. But if that's all your going to be talking about then I think we shall leave," stated Mary, getting up and trying hard not to show the anxiety in her voice. "Come on, Lena and Will. We've got a paper to write."

Lena got up as well, and Will absentmindedly followed her lead. His heartbeat rang in his ears and he felt an overwhelming sensation to run or throw up. That was when Mary turned and headed towards the café's door. Lena tailed her and Will was about to do that same when Philip Pullman quickly grabbed his wrist to stop him.

"Please. All I want is answers," begged the author.

His short nails dug into Will's skin and there was desperation in his eyes. He was the second person in 24 hours to want to know the truth. That can't be good, thought Will. Kirjava was hissing at the author, even though she knew that would have no effect on the man. She was angry and uneasy and was feeling the pain that his grasp was giving Will and she wanted it all to stop. Lena and Mary, on the other hand, had turned back to see what was holding up Will. Their reactions were predictable.

"Please, Mr. Pullman…" pleaded Mary walking back to Will's side, concern in her eyes.

"Mr. Pullman, what are you doing?" questioned Lena, a slight hint of worry in her voice.

"I-I just want to-to know the truth," the author said quietly, his breathing increasing. "I just want to know if this feeling I have it right. I just want to know…to know if you really are _Will Parry_…"

Will froze in disbelief. Did he just say what I just thought he'd said? was the cliché line running through his head. Did Philip Pullman just say that he thought Will was Will Parry? Did he just figure out the truth? No, Will corrected. He's asking. He's wondering. But that still didn't stop the avalanche of emotion that was rushing through him. All the unease, all the worry, all the anxiety, all the hopelessness, all the dread all the sorrow, and more ran throughout him.

Will stared at the man, the husband, the father, the grandfather, the teacher, the author, Philip Pullman. There was uncanny passion in his eyes. Despite the emotions in his head, Will still managed to question the situation. The author was getting worked up over what? A 'feeling', as he had put it. What was that 'feeling' that was causing his desperation for the truth? And where did that feeling come from? Was there some part of his brain, some part touched by the angel that was calling out that the young man's wrist he was grasping was _the_ Will Parry? If so, why wasn't he recognizing nor having a feeling about Mary? Maybe he did, but it wasn't as strong as the feeling he was having for him, thought Will.

"M-Mr. Pullman, please…st-stop talking crazy," stuttered Mary, barely able to contain her surprise and concern.

"I'm-I'm..." hesitated Philip Pullman, looking back and forth between Mary and Will, doubt in his eyes. "I-I…" The author suddenly let go of Will's wrist and buried his face in his hands. "I'm…sorry…I don't know what I was thinking…"

"It-it's okay. It's okay, Mr. Pullman," comforted Lena stepping towards the author.

Will stared at his girlfriend, heart pounding. What in the world was she doing? Why was she consoling Philip Pullman, the man that was extremely close to finding out the truth? Kirjava had stopped hissing and she along with her human just stared at the scene that was unfurling in front of them.

"It's okay. Everything's going to be okay," continued Lena, reaching the author and crouching down next to where he was still seated. "Do you want to tell me why you suddenly got the silly idea that Will is _the_ Will Parry?"

"I don't know…It's such a stupid thing…I don't know…," babbled Philip Pullman taking his hands off his face and looking down at the table. "I must be losing it."

"No, no, no…You mentioned something about a feeling you had?" caring spoke Lena.

"She's digging…" murmured Kirjava.

And that's when it suddenly occurred to Will why Lena was doing this. She was simply trying to get information. That's not to say that what she was doing was the wrong thing. They were putting themselves at risk by coming here and the longer they stayed the riskier is got. But Lena has no stake in his situation, thought Will. She had nothing to fear or worry about.

"Oh, it was just an idiotic little suspicion. I don't know why I even listened to it. But it just wouldn't get out of my head. It was like someone was constantly telling me that…oh, look at me. I must sound like an old fool," spoke Philip Pullman, looking at Lena seeming very tired.

"No. No, you're not. Please, go on. I want to hear more about your silly little suspicion," urged Lena.

"Well…," began the author looking away from Lena and turning to the knick-knack cover wall. "It all really started with your question. It kind of was the spark that set it off. And after that I just got this nagging little feeling that something was not right. That's why I ask you guys who were you. I thought that it was because you really weren't journalists. But that obviously wasn't it. And then after you left, my mind went crazy, thinking that Will was Will Parry and even that Ms. Smith was Mary Malone. It was such a stupid, stupid, stupid idea, yet I had to find out for myself. That's basically why I called all of you to meet me here: to see if my idea was really true. I now realize that it was a stupid thing to do, and I apologize for wasting you guys' time."

"It's alright, Mr. Pullman. Just don't call us again for foolish things. We do have things to do. Come on, you two," said Mary, stiffly.

Will could see her anger seeping through her journalist mask. Lena had planted the seed in Philip Pullman's head that caused him to guess the truth. It basically was Lena's fault they were even called there and Mary was not happy.

Lena turned towards Mary and gazed at her. There was something in Lena's chocolate brown eyes that said that she knew what she was doing and that everything was going to be fine. Though, Mary didn't seem convinced. "Yes, Mary. But just hold on a sec."

Lena then turned back to the author and with a caring voice said, "I'm sure you don't need help home, but you have my number if you ever want to…talk about…anything really you need to get off your chest."

Philip Pullman nodded, still not daring to look at Lena. His mouth was set and a look of embarrassment was written on his face.

"Okay, let's go," said Lena, finally getting up and stepping away from the mortified author.

And with that, Mary angrily marched out the door, Lena and Will trailing behind, leaving Philip Pullman alone in the decaying and fairly deserted café.


End file.
